IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

the diagram below illustrates the production of beverage

the diagram below illustrates the production of beverage
The flow chart shows the way in which
beverage
Use synonyms
 is made for the production industry.
Overall
Linking Words
, there are 5 stages in the whole
beverage
Use synonyms
 production process, beginning with the cleaning of
water
Use synonyms
 and ending with the delivery of the
beverage
Use synonyms
 to the customers. The diagram illustrates the same stages of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
water
Use synonyms
 production.
To begin
Linking Words
, raw
water
Use synonyms
 was cleaned using a filter.
This
Linking Words
water
Use synonyms
then
Linking Words
 goes through several stages (softerner, chemical, pump) by machine.
Next,
Linking Words
the second stage is heating
evaporation
Punctuation problem
, evaporation
show examples
 and carbonation. There are two levels of producing cooking pipe and carbon dioxide.
After
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
, the
water
Use synonyms
 was mixed in a big mixing tank.
Following
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
, the
beverage
Use synonyms
 was filtered again and
then
Linking Words
 filled into the bottles and cans. In the subsequent stage, the
beverage
Use synonyms
 goes through packaging and is delivered to the supermarkets and customers.

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words beverage, water with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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