IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The two pie charts below show total world energy consumption and electricity generation for last year. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The two pie charts below show total world energy consumption and electricity generation for last year. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The pie diagrams given represent the percentage of
energy
Use synonyms
 use and
electricity
Use synonyms
 production in the past year.
Overall
Linking Words
, oil and coal
had
Wrong verb form
have
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 been major resources for
energy
Use synonyms
,
whereas
Linking Words
 coal
had
Wrong verb form
has
show examples
 been widely used to generate
electricity
Use synonyms
. The figure on
left-hand
Correct article usage
the left-hand
show examples
 side represents that oil is the largest form of mineral resource used for
energy
Use synonyms
 (34.3%), followed by coal (25.1%). Another
energy
Use synonyms
 source is gas, which is utilised around 20.9%. Some of the minor resources are recycling of waste products (10.6%) and use of nuclear
energy
Use synonyms
 (6.5%).
While
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 water had not been a major way , contributing only 2.2% fuel production.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, coal has been a major form of
electricity
Use synonyms
 production about 39.8%,
whereas
Linking Words
 gas is used to make 19.6%
electricity
Use synonyms
. Nuclear
energy
Use synonyms
 and water are equally consumed to produce almost similar amounts of power, i.e, 15.7% and 16.1% respectively, but oil makes the least amount of voltage (6.7%). Apart from these known resources, only 2.1
%
Change preposition
of %
show examples
current is generated from other means.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "whereas".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words energy, electricity with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "represent" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amounts" was used 2 times.
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