Many students do part-time work while they are studying. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

It is argued that the majority of

students

Use synonyms

are working part-time jobs

while

Linking Words

they are studying.

Although

Linking Words

it may distract them from doing their assignment and getting a good amount of sleep hours, I strongly believe that

part-time

Correct article usage

a part-time

show examples

job for

students

Use synonyms

can elevate their confidence and help increase their income.

Thus

Linking Words

, the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. One of the main advantages of working

part time

Use the right word

part-time

show examples

jobs for

students

Use synonyms

is to increase their income , which can aid in payments of the educational essentials

such

Linking Words

as books , bags and even school fees.

Also

Linking Words

working with a large company or facing the public can lead to growth of their

confedence

Correct your spelling

confidence

and increase their experience.

However

Linking Words

, spending lots of working time for student can drive them to forget their homework and get a lower amount sleep hours. A study done by

king's

Fix capitalization

King's

show examples

College London shows that 60% of the

students

Use synonyms

who work

while

Linking Words

they are in school have lower grades and higher brain fatigue compared to

students

Use synonyms

who prefer not working

while

Linking Words

studying.

To conclude

Linking Words

, the advantages of working part-time

while

Linking Words

studying outweigh the disadvantages by increasing their financial status and gaining confidence.

osama.alsaiady

Sep 4, 2025

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response

Your view is clear, but you need stronger proof for your main idea. State why the good side is stronger in a sure way.

coherence

Add more strong points and give real proof or facts to back them up. Use fewer general words.

language

There are many spelling and grammar mistakes. Fix errors like part-time, confedence, and king's College London. Use simple, correct words.

coherence

Use simple link words to show cause and result, and to move from one idea to another (because, so, as a result).

organization

Structure needs a clear start, middle and end. Have one main idea in each paragraph.

accuracy

If you mention a study, be clear about it and avoid wrong facts. If you point to data, explain where it comes from.

task response

The essay shows a clear view and tries to answer the task.

coherence

There is a try to discuss both sides and to give an example.

language

Some real effort to use data and reasoning.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

191 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7
band
People think that social media has become a crucial part of life. What are its positive and negative effects on society.
Social media has become an integral part of modern life, influencing the way people communicate, access information, and perceive the world. While social media offers numerous benefits, such as connecting people and providing platforms for self-expression, it also has significant drawbacks that affect society. This essay will discuss the impact of social media on society, highlighting both positive and negative aspects.
7.5
band
Wild animals have no right in the 21st century, so protecting them is a waste of resources. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It is clear that we are living on a planet where natural resources such as rainforests, wildlife, and oceans play an important role in our well-being. While there are ongoing debates about whether the conservation of wild animals can be considered a waste of resources, I strongly believe that human beings have no right to extinct other creatures for two compelling reasons.
6.5
band
It is predicted that robotsare going to become increasingly important in our lives. How could robots be used in the future? Will this development be a positive or a negative development?
It is anticipated that robots are about to become a crucial factor in our lives in the future. This author believes that mankind could use robots in one way. Moreover, I reckon that it is a positive evolution for two reasons which are about to be debated in the following essay.
7
band
Your neighbours have recently written to you to complain about the noise from your houseflat. Write a letter to your neighbours. In your letter, explain the reason for the noise apologise for the noise describe what action you will take
Dear Mr and Mrs Williams,
7.5
band
Smoking should be banned in public places because it not only harms the smokers, but also those who are nearby. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In contemporary society, the topic of public smoking has become increasingly prominent. Nevertheless, some believe that smoking should be prohibited in open spaces. Given this, it is my contention that smoking is harmful and should be banned in public areas. Therefore, this essay will explain the impact that smoking has on someone's health and also on the environment.

Many students do part-time work while they are studying. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

People think that social media has become a crucial part of life. What are its positive and negative effects on society.

Wild animals have no right in the 21st century, so protecting them is a waste of resources. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is predicted that robotsare going to become increasingly important in our lives. How could robots be used in the future? Will this development be a positive or a negative development?

Your neighbours have recently written to you to complain about the noise from your houseflat. Write a letter to your neighbours. In your letter, explain the reason for the noise apologise for the noise describe what action you will take

Smoking should be banned in public places because it not only harms the smokers, but also those who are nearby. To what extent do you agree or disagree?