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Writing Samples
Band 5

School should not force children to learn a foreign language. To what extent do you agree with the statemen.

As nowadays the Internet has
became
Wrong verb form
become
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 prevalent and widespread all around the world, it is essential for students to be prepared for interactions with foreigners in the future.
Accordingly
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, I totally disagree with the idea that
Use synonyms
languages
Fix the agreement mistake
language
show examples
 learning should be
Correct article usage
an electives
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electives
Fix the agreement mistake
elective
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 for
children
Use synonyms
. Adopting at least one second
language
Use synonyms
 is of major importance in
this
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 modern society. It can serve as a practical or even a survival skill. Individuals rely on
this
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 ability more
aince
Correct your spelling
since
traveling
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travelling
show examples
crosscountries
Correct your spelling
across countries
 is now popular and available among most people. English,
for example
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, is spoken in most of the developed nations and in famous tourist spots.
One
Correct pronoun usage
It
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 would be easier to find someone who
also
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speak
Correct subject-verb agreement
speaks
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 English than their native
language
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 to guide when lost
of
Change preposition
in
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 directions.
Additionally
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,
able
Verb problem
being able
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 to speak a second
language
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 is definitely a plus for
jobseekers
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job seekers
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 who are applying for large firms, particularly international companies. Preparing young kids for better
language
Use synonyms
 learning is certainly beneficial.
On the other hand
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, some critics argue that forcing
children
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 to learn
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language
Fix the agreement mistake
languages
show examples
 they do not use regularly is useless, and
there for
Use the right word
therefore
show examples
 should not be mandatory. Some people, typically the ones with disadvantaged backgrounds, are destined to stay in their hometown for lifelong. In their case, there will not even
a
Verb problem
be a
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chance to speak
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
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 second
language
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.
However
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, I believe that it is still useful even for the people who never step outside their towns to learn
languages
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, even just a few words, because learning
languages
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 is not solely about understanding the sentences, but
also
Linking Words
 learning the cultures. By learning
languages
Use synonyms
,
children
Use synonyms
 can foster a better cultural tolerance and broaden their horizons, developing
open mindsets
Use the right word
open-mindedness
show examples
. In conclusion, I think
language
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 learning should be compulsory for
children
Use synonyms
 for the reason that it can provide better career opportunities, offer a greater chance for help, and build a healthy mindset.

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strength and improvement
Your view is clear and steady. Keep this. Add more facts or real life ideas to back your main points.
grammar
Some grammar and spelling errors slow the read. Check words like aince, crosscountries, lost of directions. Fix them.
structure
Make ideas more full. Add one or two more points on why these ideas are true, and give a clear link from point to point.
lexical
Use more simple and common words. Do not use many new big words. This keeps the tone easy but strong.
content
Clear stance that language learning should be compulsory.
structure
Good use of linking words to show steps and end.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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