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Writing Samples
Band 5

Machines and robots are increasingly replacing workers in a number of industries. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Technological advancement has become a driving force of modern society. It is often argued that automation and robotic systems are progressively displacing the human workforce.
Although
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this
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 trend has both positive and negative aspects, I firmly believe that the benefits outweigh the drawbacks.
This
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 essay will examine both sides before drawing a conclusion. The most significant advantage of
machines
Use synonyms
 and
robots
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 is increased efficiency and productivity. Unlike human
workers
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, industrial
robots
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 can work continuously without fatigue, resulting in higher production in
minimum
Correct article usage
a minimum
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 time.
For example
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, the automobile sector is now relying heavily on robotics arms to fabricate and assemble auto-vehicle parts, which has significantly reduced production time
while
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 maintaining high precision.
Consequently
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, the industries can successfully deliver affordable vehicles to consumers in
competitive
Correct article usage
a competitive
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 market. Another notable benefit is the potential to improve factory safety. Many industries ,
such
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 as mining and construction, expose
workers
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 to hazardous conditions. By replacing them with
robots
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 , not only avoid
workplace
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 injuries, but
also
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 increase productivity.
For instance
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, a recent survey done by the
workplace
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 safety department shows that approximately 50% of the on-site accidents have been eliminated by the latest technology.
Hence
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,
this
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 demonstrates why the positive impact is considerable. Admittedly, there are some downsides
of
Change preposition
to
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 automated equipment and humanoid
machines
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. A common concern is that the replacement of
workers
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 with
robots
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 can lead to unemployment and decrease the country's economy.
For example
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,
before
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before,
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 almost 1000
workers
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 worked at traditional sites of Amazon
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sites, due
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,
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;
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due to
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 advancements in automated conveyor and robotics systems , now only 100
workers
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 are needed.
However
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,
this
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 issue can be mitigated by providing advanced training related to artificial intelligence to non-skilled employees ,
as well as
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 the government should implement made policy for the usage of automated
machines
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. In conclusion,
while
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 the growing use of
machines
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 and robotics in the dangerous
workplace
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 presents certain challenges, the advantages ,
such
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 as increased production and reduced
workplace
Use synonyms
 injuries , clearly surpass the disadvantages.
Therefore
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, I strongly believe that
this
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 trend is more beneficial than harmful.

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language
Fix grammar and punctuation errors to improve clarity. Pay attention to comma use and parallel structure.
content
Use clearer and more concrete examples to back each point.
structure
Strengthen the conclusion by restating your view and summarizing main ideas.
language
Keep sentences simple and use common words to fit IELTS writing norms.
task response
Clear position and argument.
structure
Good overall structure with intro, body, and conclusion.
coherence
Use of linking words to show cause and effect.
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