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Writing Samples
Band 6

The charts below give information about USA marriage and divorce rates between 1970 and 2000 and marital status of adult americans in two of the years. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below give information about USA marriage and divorce rates between 1970 and 2000 and marital status of adult americans in two of the years. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The charts illustrate the information
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
 marriage and divorce
rates
Use synonyms
 in the U.S.A. from 1970 to 2000 and the marital status of adult citizens in 1970 and 2000.
Overall
Linking Words
, the marriage
rates
Use synonyms
 were constant for two decades that started,
fell
Rephrase
then fell
show examples
while
Linking Words
 the divorce
rates
Use synonyms
were raise
Verb problem
rose
show examples
 and fell again to
initial
Correct article usage
the initial
show examples
 point.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the married population dropped to 60 in 2000, compared to 70% in 1970,
whereas
Linking Words
 the unmarried adults and divorced people rose significantly. In 1970, 2.5
million
Use synonyms
 individuals got married
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 the
figured
Replace the word
figure
show examples
 remained
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 in 1980.
Later
Punctuation problem
Later,
show examples
 it dropped to around 2.3
million
Use synonyms
 in 1990 and 2
million
Use synonyms
 in 2000. The divorce
rates
Use synonyms
 were at 1
million
Use synonyms
 in 1970, which
hiked
Verb problem
increased
show examples
 to almost 1.4
million
Use synonyms
 people getting divorced in 1980. Despite the past
growth
Punctuation problem
growth,
show examples
 it declined to approximately 1.2
million
Use synonyms
 and 1
million
Use synonyms
 in 1990 and
2000
Punctuation problem
2000,
show examples
 respectively. Turning to
marital
Correct article usage
the marital
show examples
 status of adults, it was around 70% citizens
were
Correct pronoun usage
who were
show examples
 married in 1970, which plummeted to 60% in 2000. The widowed people
also
Linking Words
receded
Verb problem
decreased
show examples
to
Change preposition
from
show examples
 4% in 1970 to around 2% in 2000. There was a massive
resurgance
Correct your spelling
resurgence
 in
divorced
Replace the word
divorces
show examples
, it increased from almost 2% in 1970 to slightly lower than 5% in 2000,
while
Linking Words
 the unmarried population
also
Linking Words
 increased around 2% in 1970 to 20% in 2000.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also, while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words rates, million with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "fell" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 4 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • marriage rate
  • divorce rate
  • marital status
  • adult Americans
  • trends
  • fluctuations
  • peak
  • nadir
  • comparisons
  • notable
  • patterns
  • factors
  • social factors
  • distribution
  • significant differences
  • anomalies
  • speculate
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