IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? All university students should be required to take history courses no matter what their field of study is. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

History
Use synonyms
represnts
Correct your spelling
represents
 the cultural heritage and grandeur of a nation. As much as knowing
Use synonyms
history
Correct article usage
the history
show examples
 of your nation is important, it is
also
Linking Words
 vital to pay
un-diverted
Use the right word
undiverted
show examples
 attention to the Field of
study
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 a candidate has chosen to pursue in
University
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. I completely disagree with the statement,
students
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 should not be required to take
history
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 courses in universities.  I will
Specify
Fix capitalization
specify
show examples
 the reasons.
History
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 is a compulsory subject in your
highschool
Use the right word
high school
show examples
studies
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 as it teaches you enough about
you
Correct pronoun usage
your
show examples
countrie's
Correct your spelling
country's
 past political
relation
Fix the agreement mistake
relations
show examples
 with other nations, invasions
such
Linking Words
 as World War 1 and World War 2 and past rulers of the empires whose names faded away with the passing time. Given,
history
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 is
also
Linking Words
 available to
students
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 as an option to pursue
further
Linking Words
 in
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university level
Use the right word
university-level
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
study
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 as a separate
field
Punctuation problem
field,
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 it should not be made compulsory for every student to
study
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history
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 again in
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university
Punctuation problem
university,
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 even if their career path varies vitally. Major Public Universities
such
Linking Words
 as
University
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 of British Columbia have
students
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 who take Medical, Accountancy, Business
studies
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 as their career path and have limited hourse to delicate towards their
studies
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 as time-management plays a big role to be a success in these
studies
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 if these
students
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 will have compulsory courses
such
Linking Words
 as
history
Use synonyms
 will divert their attention and they may loose some of the important time that they could have used to be more proficient in their own fields. Finance In
university
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
studies
Add a comma
studies,
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 each course brings in additional costs with
such
Linking Words
 as
purchase
Correct article usage
the purchase
show examples
 of
study
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 materials, books and subscriptions
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 adds on to the financial burden to the
students
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. A
study
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 in a
new york based
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New York-based
show examples
 magazine in its 2019 survey submitted a report that
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
show examples
 of
students
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 in
univesities
Correct your spelling
universities
comes
Correct subject-verb agreement
come
show examples
 from a median wage earning families which are already struggling with their finances.
Therefore
Linking Words
, I conclude that extra courses like
history
Use synonyms
irrelevant
Punctuation problem
, irrelevant
show examples
 to their fields of
Use synonyms
Fix the agreement mistake
study
show examples
studies
Punctuation problem
studies,
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 make their struggle harder in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
times
where
Correct word choice
when
show examples
students
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 should be only focused on their career path and not have additional financial
stretch
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stress
show examples
.
History
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 should be
a
Correct article usage
an
show examples
add on
Use the right word
add-on
show examples
 to
field
Correct article usage
the field
show examples
 of
study
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 only if it is relevant to their
education
Replace the word
educational
show examples
jouney
Correct your spelling
journey
 in universities
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 is usually not the case when
analyse
Wrong verb form
analysing
show examples
 every
Use synonyms
students
Check wording
student's
show examples
 scenario.

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strength
Your view is clear and you give reasons. Keep this line in mind when you write.
improvement
Add more clear examples from real life or from study to back each point.
language
Fix grammar and spelling. Shorter sentences help.
coherence
Use linking words to tie ideas. For example, also, but, however, for example.
structure
End with a short conclusion that restates your view and what you want readers to take from it.
position
Clear choice against forcing history in all programs
logic
Uses cost and time as points
evidence
Some real world example used

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • mandatory
  • invaluable
  • historical events
  • historical figures
  • analyze
  • interpret
  • primary sources
  • secondary sources
  • chronological
  • context
  • critical analysis
  • cultural diversity
  • identity
  • global perspective
  • transferable skills
What to do next:
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