IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it.Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Advertising plays a crucial role in influencing the choices of
people
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 in terms of acquiring goods and services. Few
people
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 believe that marketing is a very effective way to push a person into acquiring things.
Whereas
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,
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apply
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 others think that advertising is too outdated for them.
This
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 essay intends to delve into both prospects prior to embarking on a suitable conclusion.
To begin
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,one of the prime reasons behind
this
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 trend is that
,
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 it hires a number of renowned personalities to endorse products in the market, which ultimately attracts the vast majority of
people
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 . To cite an example, these days, many
hollywood
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Hollywood
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 actors are brand ambassadors and promoting business globally with
huge
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a huge
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 amount of
purchaser
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purchasers
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.
Thus
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, a large proportion of individuals are mainly influenced through publicity. On the flip side, there are still certain aspects of neglecting publicity platforms ,in
case
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the case
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 of purchasing things. One main reason behind
this
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 attitude is awareness ,
due to
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 social media apps like Instagram and TikTok, and it has become a trend of giving
review
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reviews
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 to the general public about any special brand via personal experiences.
As a result
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,
people
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 have become more cautious and do not get distracted by market strategies. In conclusion,despite marketing being able to push countless
people
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 towards their product with the help of well-known personalities and discounted prices,
however
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,awareness through online platforms is still making
people
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 less attentive to these strategies.

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planning
Plan your idea. Start with a short intro that states your view. Then three body parts: view 1, view 2, your view. End with a short conclusion.
writing
Use simple but clear sentences. Link ideas with 'first', 'also', 'but', 'however' and 'in addition'.
editing
Check grammar and spelling. Avoid long, hard lines. Use shorter sentences.
examples
Give clear examples for each point. For example, ads with known people influence buyers.
content
You discuss both sides and give a final view.
structure
There is a use of signpost words like 'To begin' and 'In conclusion'.
content
The last line shows your own view.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • persuade
  • promote
  • attract
  • influence
  • impact
  • consumerism
  • commercialism
  • market
  • product
  • brand
  • endorsement
  • manipulative
  • saturated
  • overwhelmed
  • repetitive
  • distracting
  • irrelevant
  • exaggerated
  • misleading
  • desensitized
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