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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Many people believe that the increasing use of social media is having a negative impact on the social skills of young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is argued that the social skills of young individuals have been influenced negatively by the excessive utilisation of Social Media Platforms.
This
Linking Words
 essay completely agrees with
this
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 statement as it plays a significant role in making
People
Use synonyms
 more secluded and less desire to get married. More bodies prefer to spend most of their time alone.
This
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 attitude stems from that social media
apps
Use synonyms
 offer unlimited access to
people
Use synonyms
 from different cultures and backgrounds. That's the reason why bodies stay at home and communicate with others
instead
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 of going out and engaging in outdoor activities.
For example
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, a vast Majority of Iraqi adolescents spend 5 out of 7 days at home ,
while
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 most of the recreational areas sound empty. Another consequence of Facebook, Twitter and TikTok is
incentive
Correct article usage
an incentive
show examples
Use synonyms
People
Change preposition
for People
show examples
 to stay bachelor.
In other words
Linking Words
,
crowd
Fix the agreement mistake
crowds
show examples
 who connect on social media have less chance to get married. Social Platforms offer thousands of ~ respect relationships
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
 only a small minority of these relationships convert to Perpetual marriage because these shallow relationships become less serious with time.
Thus
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 , Many of them age to fall.
For instance
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, Japanese family aged 18 to 20 years old have
less
Fix the agreement mistake
fewer
show examples
 married couples
compare
Wrong verb form
compared
show examples
 with their ancestors
due to
Linking Words
 using dating
apps
Use synonyms
 as a major way to get married. In conclusion, More
People
Use synonyms
 are becoming introverts and singles,
due to
Linking Words
 reliance on dating
apps
Use synonyms
 and chats to connect with
community
Correct article usage
the community
show examples
 , and I agree that these
apps
Use synonyms
 effect on Young folk and may have other consequences on their Future.

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Task response guidance
Make a clear plan before you write. Start with a simple intro that states your view. Then add two or three ideas in a logical order. End with a short conclusion.
Coherence and cohesion guidance
Use topic sentence in each paragraph. Each paragraph should have one main idea that links to the question. Use simple linking words to show order and flow.
Grammar tips
Use correct grammar. Check small mistakes with 's, ing form, and articles. Read aloud to spot errors.
strength
You show a clear stance on the issue.
strength
You try to give examples to support your view.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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