IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people believe that the government should help the unemployed on a weekly basis. Do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give your own opinion.

Some believe that the officials should support individuals who are unemployed by providing pay on a weekly basis. I strongly agree with
this
Linking Words
 point of view as it can be used to survive till they find a
job
Use synonyms
,
also
Linking Words
, it is a good way to give citizens their
money
Use synonyms
 back.
To begin
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 with, many
people
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 struggle to find a
job
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 after being unemployed, where, government can help them by providing
money
Use synonyms
 on a weekly basis, which can be used for their general household expenses.
This
Linking Words
 could help individuals to keep applying for more jobs without having to stress about financial burden and how to survive in
this
Linking Words
 expensive world.
For instance
Linking Words
, a state in Canada provided
money
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 for a seven-day period to the unemployed for two months, resulting in, 30% drop in unemployment rate.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the
country
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 collects taxes from citizens
from
Change preposition
with
show examples
 every paycheck to foster development and improve everyone's life. So, helping
people
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 back by providing
their
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
Use synonyms
money
Change preposition
with money
show examples
 could be a good way to spend the
country
Use synonyms
's budget.
Furthermore
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,
this
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 will
also
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 cut
number
Correct article usage
the number
show examples
 of migrants who leave the
country
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 to find a
job
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, which plays a crucial role in the
country
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's international impression. In conclusion, I completely agree with the point that it is essential for officials to give back to
people
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 who need it most at their worst time to survive and
also
Linking Words
 for
people
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 who plan to leave only to find a
job
Use synonyms
.

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planning
Plan your answer with a clear stance in the first sentence and two main reasons. Then sum up your view in the last line.
structure
Write one idea per paragraph. Start with a topic sentence that states the idea, then add simple support.
examples
Use simple examples that are easy to check. If you mention a country, keep facts accurate or say 'a country' if unsure.
grammar
Check grammar and join words to avoid long sentences. Use shorter sentences to show control.
coherence
Use linking words to show how ideas connect, like 'first, also, but, therefore, because'
content
Clear stance on the issue.
structure
Good use of linking words between ideas.
evidence
Relevant example to support a claim.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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