IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The following two pie charts give the results of a survey into the popularity of various leisure activities among European adults in 1985 and 1995. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The following two pie charts give the results of a survey into the popularity of various leisure activities among European adults in 1985 and 1995. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The pie chart illustrates the proportions of various
in demand
Use the right word
in-demand
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 recreational
moment
Fix the agreement mistake
moments
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in
Change preposition
among
show examples
 European mature individuals in 1985 and 1995.
Overall
Linking Words
, watching TV was the most popular
activities
Fix the agreement mistake
activity
show examples
 among European people in 1985 and declined in
1995
Punctuation problem
1995,
show examples
as well as
Linking Words
 family time, dining out of home, and others. Meanwhile,
conversation
Correct article usage
the conversation
show examples
 with a friend had a slight increase and computer games became
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
popular in 1995. TV shows
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 the highest proportion among adults with 32 per
cent
Use synonyms
 in 1985, and it decreased to 30 per
cent
Use synonyms
 in 1995.
conversation
Correct article usage
A conversation
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 with relatives
also
Linking Words
 encountered
Correct article usage
a lost
show examples
lost
Replace the word
loss
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percentage
Change preposition
of percentage
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 from 18 per
cent
Use synonyms
 to 7 per
cent
Use synonyms
.
Thus
Linking Words
, dining out
amount
Check wording
apply
show examples
decreased in 10 years
Linking Words
as
Punctuation problem
, as
show examples
 well as other leisure activities.
Conversation
Correct article usage
A conversation
show examples
 with
friend
Correct article usage
a friend
show examples
 showed
proportion
Replace the word
proportional
show examples
 growth in the
last
Linking Words
 10 years, from 21 per
cent
Use synonyms
 to 26 per
cent
Use synonyms
. Computer games
has
Verb problem
were
show examples
 unpopular in 1985
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
however
Linking Words
,
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 gained popularity from zero
amount
Check wording
apply
show examples
to 27 per
cent
Use synonyms
 in 1995, and became the second highest proportion in
leasure
Correct your spelling
leisure
 time among mature people.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "as well as".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words cent with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportions" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Pie charts
  • Leisure activities
  • European adults
  • Survey results
  • Popularity
  • Comparison
  • Ten-year period
  • Walking
  • Cycling
  • Increase/Decrease
  • Percentage
  • Popularity shift
  • Team sports
  • Solitary activities
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