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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Social media, indeed, has enhanced the communication network and allow people to keep abreast of the happenings around them. In my opinion, despite certain advantages, I believe that the drawbacks of using social media outweigh the advantages.

The
incresed
Correct your spelling
increased
 popularity of social
media
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,
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apply
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 has improved the communication
,
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apply
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 and awareness among today's generation, by giving them easy access to the information about everything happening around them.
However
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, there are
also
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 cons of
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this
Fix the agreement mistake
these
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 internet communities, which
outweighs
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outweigh
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 the pros, because
,
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apply
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 too much use of social
media
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 is a distraction for the youth, and
secondly
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, it has decreased the value of family
time
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. First and foremost, the use of
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
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 is maximum among the children
,
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apply
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 and the youth of the society.
Therefore
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,
instead
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 of focusing on their studies and career, they spend
time
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 scrolling through reels and videos.
Furthermore
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, children
being
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, being
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 more vulnerable,
gets
Correct subject-verb agreement
get
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 easily impacted by the fake life of influencers, and would try to mimic their lifestyles, which
,
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apply
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 exposes them
falling
Verb problem
to falling
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 prey to the social stigmas.
For example
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, a study showed that 65% of teenage alcohol abusers started drinking because they were influenced by their favourite celebrity or
media
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 personality, as it seemed cool.
Secondly
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, the increasing popularity of social
media
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 platforms has disrupted
the
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apply
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family bonds, especially between
the
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apply
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couples.
Instead
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 of sitting together and talking, family members
,
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apply
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 now
,
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apply
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 prefer using their mobile phones and laptops.
This
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 increases the chances of miscommunications,
hence
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 leading to the destruction of a happy family, by causing trust issues and insecurities.
For instance
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, there has been
increase
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an increase
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 in
number
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the number
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 of divorces nowadays, because
,
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apply
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 of
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
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 of communication, which happens as people
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instead
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, instead
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 of spending
time
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 with their spouses, would rather waste it on their electronic devices.
This
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,
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apply
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 gradually makes their relationship more robotic and dull over
time
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, eventually breaking it apart. Conclusively, I totally agree that the negative ramifications of using more social
media
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is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 more
,
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apply
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 than the positive, because
,
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apply
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 it impacts a kid's mindset
,
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apply
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 and prevents them from focusing on their careers. At the same
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time
Add a comma
time,
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 it can
also
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 break families as the addiction
of
Change preposition
to
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 being on
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
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,
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apply
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 uses most of their
time
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, which
,
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apply
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 creates distance among them.

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structure
Make a plan before you write. Have a clear plan: short intro, 2 or 3 main points, and a simple closing.
grammar
Use small, simple sentences. Check places where the verb or subject does not match.
evidence
Keep facts easy and clear. If you use numbers, make sure they are right and from a real source.
coherence
Use linking words in a steady way. Do not switch ideas too fast.
accuracy
Watch spell and comma marks. Fix typos like incresed and other miss spellings.
purpose
The writer shows a clear view from the start and sticks to the task.
organization
The use of step words like First and Secondly helps you see the order of ideas.
closing
The ending repeats the view, which can help the reader see your point.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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