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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The chart below shows what Anthroplogy graduates from one university did after finishing their undergraduate degree course. The table shows the salaries of the anthropologists in work after five years. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows what Anthroplogy graduates from one university did after finishing their undergraduate degree course. The table shows the salaries of the anthropologists in work after five years. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
This
Linking Words
 pie chart illustrates the occupation situation of anthropology students from one university after graduation.
Furthermore
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, the table displays different
salaries
Use synonyms
according to
Linking Words
 their type of employment.
Overall
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, it can be seen that
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 the highest percentage of them had full-time
work
Use synonyms
.
Similarly
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, the
Government
Use synonyms
sector
Use synonyms
 paid more
salaries
Use synonyms
. Full-time
work
Use synonyms
 was very popular among graduates.
Therefore
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, approximately
a
Correct article usage
apply
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half of them had
full-time
Correct article usage
a full-time
show examples
 job.
Moreover
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, it was recorded that 12% of them stayed unemployed.
Although
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,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 more than one in ten chose part-time
work
Use synonyms
, a small
tiny
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
proportion preferred to study with part-time
work
Use synonyms
.
In contrast
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, less than 10% of them studied
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besides
Change preposition
while
show examples
full-time working
Correct word order
working full-time
show examples
.
Apart from
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this
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, 8% of them remained unknown. It was noted that working as freelance consultants and
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
Use synonyms
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
sector
Use synonyms
 could receive more income after five years’
work
Use synonyms
.
For example
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,
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
half of the graduates, who worked for the
government
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
sector
Punctuation problem
sector,
show examples
 received more than 100.000$, and one third of them earned 75.000- 99.999$.
In addition
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, 80% of the freelance consultants were considered to earn more
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then
Use the right word
than
show examples
 75.000$.
Hence
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, 20% of both groups were paid less than 50.000$.
On the other hand
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, private companies were granted
less
Correct word choice
lower
show examples
salaries
Use synonyms
. 50.000$-74.000$
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 devoted to 35% of the students, who worked for them. It was around 50% of them selected jobs with more than 75.000$, and 10% of them had less than 50.000$.
It is clear that
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,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 Anthropology graduates tended to
work
Use synonyms
 full-time in comparison with other occupation situations, and it was better for them to
occupy
Verb problem
work
show examples
 in
Use synonyms
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
sector
Use synonyms
 and
freelance
Change preposition
as freelance
show examples
 consultants
due to
Linking Words
salaries
Use synonyms
.

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words salaries, work, government, sector with synonyms.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • undergraduate degree
  • postgraduate study
  • unemployment
  • sector
  • freelance/contract work
  • breakdown
  • proportion
  • engage in
  • categorize
  • significantly vary
  • academic positions
  • private companies
  • government positions
  • secure employment
  • undergraduates
  • destinations
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