IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Most artists earning low salaries and should therefore receive bunding from the government in order for them to continue with their coone.

Many people argue that the government should give extra
money
Use synonyms
 to help the
artists
Use synonyms
 so that they can continue their
work
Use synonyms
,
minimum
Correct article usage
a minimum
show examples
 salary from they get their workplace. I agree about
this
Linking Words
 topic because the
artists
Use synonyms
 will inspire and the common people will
also
Linking Words
encourage
Wrong verb form
be encouraged
show examples
 to
work
Use synonyms
the
Change preposition
on the
show examples
 art site.
Firstly
Linking Words
, paying extra
money
Use synonyms
 is
great
Replace the word
greatly
show examples
 advantageous for
artists
Use synonyms
. Usually,one artist can not earn
sufficient
Correct word choice
as much
show examples
money
Use synonyms
than
Change preposition
as
show examples
 a
businessmen
Fix the agreement mistake
businessman
show examples
 or other professional workers,so they live
under
Change preposition
below
show examples
 the poverty line.
As a result
Linking Words
, they try to change their
work
Use synonyms
,and
also
Linking Words
loss
Replace the word
lose
show examples
 their creativity and hope.If they get extra
fund
Check wording
funding
show examples
 from the government, they will not need to change their
work
Use synonyms
.
Consequently
Linking Words
, they will get motivation
foe
Use the right word
for
show examples
 their
work
Use synonyms
.For protecting the traditional site,
artists
Use synonyms
 keep a crucial
rule
Use the right word
role
show examples
 in society.
For example
Linking Words
 :if in the past,there
would not
Verb problem
were
show examples
any
Correct determiner usage
no
show examples
artist
Fix the agreement mistake
artists
show examples
Punctuation problem
,
show examples
how can we know about the past culture and tradition
.
Change the punctuation
?
show examples
So,increasing the salary of
artist
Fix the agreement mistake
artists
show examples
 not only
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
 the
artists
Use synonyms
 but
also
Linking Words
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
 to keep up the cultural
work
Use synonyms
.
Secondly
Linking Words
, many common pupils will
encourage
Wrong verb form
be encouraged
show examples
 to
work
Use synonyms
 in the arts sector.The unemployment problem will decrease.New creativity will come from the new generation.Sometimes, they could
be participated
Wrong verb form
participate
show examples
 in the international programme.
Thus
Linking Words
,the government can lead the generation by funding extra
money
Use synonyms
 for
artists
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, I again say that paying extra
fund
Fix the agreement mistake
funds
show examples
 to the
artists
Use synonyms
 will not only help them but
also
Linking Words
encouraging
Wrong verb form
encourage
show examples
 the local people.

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planning
Plan your essay. Make a short plan before you write. Use two or three ideas and write one idea per paragraph.
content
Say your view in the first line so the reader sees your stand.
development
Explain each idea with one simple example or reason.
language
Use simple words and check for big mistakes that harm meaning.
content
You show a clear view that help from the government for art is good.
content
Some link to culture and life in art is shown.
structure
Intro and conclusion are present.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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