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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the percentage of urban/suburban and rural households in a European country that had acces between 1999 and 2004.

The graph below shows the percentage of urban/suburban and rural households in a European country that had acces between 1999 and 2004.
The bar chart illustrates the proportion of
internet
Use synonyms
 coverage between Urban/Suburban and rural areas from 1999 to 2004.
Overall
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
 was
populer
Correct your spelling
popular
 in urban/suburban
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
 throughout the
period
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 the requirement
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the
internet
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 increased in rural
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
 during the
period
Use synonyms
.
Initially
Linking Words
, approximately 15 per
cent
Use synonyms
people
Change preposition
of people
show examples
 in
city-based
Correct article usage
the city-based
show examples
 area
utilized
Use the right word
utilised
show examples
 the
internet
Use synonyms
 connection for their daily
need
Fix the agreement mistake
needs
show examples
. In 2000, the requirement grew almost double and
continue
Wrong verb form
continued
show examples
 to
increased
Wrong verb form
increase
show examples
almost
Change preposition
by almost
show examples
 40 per
cent
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 in 2001. The
internet
Use synonyms
 gained around 50 per
cent
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
users
Change preposition
of users
show examples
 in 2002 and reached approximately 55 per
cent
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
users
Change preposition
of users
show examples
in
Change preposition
by
show examples
 the end of the
period
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the
internet
Use synonyms
users
Use synonyms
 in
countryside
Correct article usage
the countryside
show examples
only had
Verb problem
were
show examples
 less than 5 per
cent
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 in 1999, and it began to
rose
Wrong verb form
rise
show examples
 with more than 5 per
cent
Use synonyms
users
Use synonyms
 in 2000.
Although
Linking Words
 the growth of
internet
Use synonyms
users
Use synonyms
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 insignificant
in
Change preposition
from
show examples
 2001 to 2003, it reached more than 35 per
cent
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
users
Change preposition
of users
show examples
in
Change preposition
by
show examples
 the end of the
period
Use synonyms
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words internet, period, cent, users with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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