IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

People today generall have better lives than people in the past did. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is irrefutable that individuals today enjoy a better lifestyle compared to those in the past. I firmly agree with
this
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 view, as rapid technological advancements have improved accommodation,
travel
Use synonyms
, and work facilities, making modern life far more comfortable. On the one hand, in the past,
people
Use synonyms
 lived in simple dwellings
such
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 as mud or wooden houses, which lacked modern amenities like air conditioning or central heating.
Furthermore
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, for long-distance
travel
Use synonyms
, they had to rely on walking or using animals
such
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 as horses and donkeys, since they did not have access to cars, motorbikes, or reliable public transport systems.
Moreover
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, in earlier times, the healthcare system was poorly developed, and the limited number of hospitals was insufficient to provide effective medical treatment.
For example
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, individuals living in rural areas often had to
travel
Use synonyms
 long distances to reach basic medical facilities, and even
then
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, the quality of treatment was minimal compared to the advanced healthcare services available today.
On the other hand
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, nowadays, advanced communication systems, modern transportation, better education and wider job opportunities are the primary advantages that make life more convenient and luxurious.
Firstly
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,
people
Use synonyms
 enjoy advanced communication
system
Fix the agreement mistake
systems
show examples
such
Linking Words
 as smartphones for instant audio and video calls worldwide and
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
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 for deep research, whether it is for education
of
Use the right word
or
show examples
 work purposes.
Furthermore
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, modern transportation facilities
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for
Punctuation problem
, for
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instance
Punctuation problem
instance,
show examples
 cars, motorbikes, and public transport
such
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 as buses, trains, and trams make
travel
Use synonyms
 faster and smoother.
People
Use synonyms
 can save their time and money by travelling long distances.
For example
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, citizens can spend their valuable time on other activities
while
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 travelling to their workplaces by
trains
Fix the agreement mistake
train
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.
To conclude
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, it is true that
as a result
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 of technological progress
Use synonyms
people
Punctuation problem
, people
show examples
 are experiencing a better lifestyle compared with the past.

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lexical
Use mostly simple, W ords. A few hard words can be hard to fit and may not help.
structure
Make one clear idea in each paragraph. Start with a short sentence that states the idea, then add facts.
content
Give more real facts or data to back up your points. This makes your view stronger.
grammar
Check grammar and shorten long sentences. Some phrases are not clear.
planning
Keep the layout clear: intro with view, two body parts that show past and now, and a short conclusion.
overall
Clear view and match to task from start.
coherence
Good plan with past vs now and a clear end.
structure
Order is clear, with three main parts.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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