IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

some people believe that profussionls , such as doctors and engineers , should be required to work in the counrty where they did their training. others believe they should be free to work in other countries discuss both views and give your opinion

Although
Linking Words
 many individuals think that students with
high
Correct word choice
higher
show examples
education
Use synonyms
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
 as
medicine
Punctuation problem
medicine,
show examples
 must be forced to
work
Use synonyms
 in the same state where they got their
education
Use synonyms
, other people argue that they should be allowed to practice their profession at any place. I concur that individuals with high
eduacation
Correct your spelling
education
 must be able to choose
whre
Correct your spelling
where
 they can
work
Use synonyms
. At the outset, governments spend a considerable
amount
Use synonyms
 of money to
allow
Verb problem
provide
show examples
 professional
education
Use synonyms
 for their citizens, so they should
be benefited
Wrong verb form
benefit
show examples
 from that. The government usually spend a huge
amount
Use synonyms
 of its income on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
education
Use synonyms
 to
assert
Verb problem
ensure
show examples
 that people get a proper training and experience, and
this
Linking Words
 money comes mainly from taxes
that
Linking Words
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 being levied on citizens, so graduates and trainees must
work
Use synonyms
 in their states as a
pay back
Use the right word
payback
show examples
.To give an illustration, in Egypt, the department of
high
Correct word choice
higher
show examples
education
Use synonyms
 spends
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
50 million
Pound
Fix the agreement mistake
pounds
show examples
 on doctors each year, so they can get a proper
education
Use synonyms
, and
this
Linking Words
amount
Use synonyms
 of cash comes mainly from people's taxes. In my opinion, graduates from professional colleges exerted a huge effort to achieve their goals, so they should be allowed to
work
Use synonyms
 freely at any place. In many countries, human beings have to
work
Use synonyms
 hard in order to be enrolled in one of the major universities and obtain their degree.
This
Linking Words
 process requires a significant
amount
Use synonyms
 of effort and money
Linking Words
while
Punctuation problem
, while
show examples
 other sorts of
education
Use synonyms
 do not need
this
Linking Words
 kind of difficulty, so
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society must allow them
make
Verb problem
to make
show examples
 their own
choise
Correct your spelling
choice
. If the officials want those employees to have jobs in their own countries, they should make
effort
Correct article usage
an effort
show examples
 to provide
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
acceptable job offers with many benefits.
To conclude
Linking Words
, even though many
persons
Check wording
people
show examples
 believe that graduates from professional schools need to
do
Verb problem
apply
show examples
work
Use synonyms
 in their
reigons
Correct your spelling
regions
, I completely think that the officials should allow them to decide what is in their best interest.

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Task Response
Plan your answer. Say both sides and then give your view with a clear end.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use clear order. Put ideas in a line and link with simple words.
Strength
The essay gives a clear view.
Strength
It uses some true reasons and a sample of money spent on education.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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