It is better for university students to live away from home during their university studies rather than staying with their parents. To what extent do you agree or. My inclinations partially line with this thought that students must stay away from home during university studies.

Some people believe
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that it is more beneficial for the students to live away from their
house
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homes
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,
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during the course of their university studies.
This
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essay
disagree
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disagrees
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with
this
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notion, as living away from home has more negative ramifications
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than the positive. One should continue living with their parents, because it is
more
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cheaper and it is good for their emotional health. First and foremost, if a person is living with their parents during
the
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higher studies, they
dont
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don't
have to worry about the cost of living. It is way cheaper and comfortable to live at your home, and saves a lot of time and energy as an individual does not have to worry about the monthly budget and expenditures.
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, they can
also
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take care of their health by eating home-cooked
meal
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meals
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, as compared to
the
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outside food.
For example
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, a student who lives at home is at
a
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less risk of getting diseases as food poisoning, than a child who lives in the hostel or as a paying guest.
Secondly
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, university education can be really stressful and overwhelming.
However
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, living with
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family members is a good source of emotional support
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and helps get through
the
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difficult
time
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times
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. It helps us to keep a check on our activities and fosters strong family bonds, offering a sense of security.
For instance
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, children who live with their family members
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are less likely to fall prey to peer pressure and social stigmas as smoking, drinking, etc. Conclusively, I strongly believe that living with parents is more advantageous as compared to living away from them, because it is more cost-effective and comfortable.
Furthermore
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, it promotes a healthy mindset
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and offers mental security
making
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, making
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them more confident.

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clarity
Your main view is not clear from the start. Decide if you agree with living away or staying home and keep that stance in every paragraph.
coherence
Link ideas better with clearer ties. Use easy words like 'also', 'but', 'however' to show how ideas go together.
evidence
Give a real example or small fact to back up each point, even simple ones from school life or home.
grammar
Watch for grammar. Keep sentences short. Use simple verb tenses and fix subject-verb errors.
task response
The essay has a clear topic and your view is stated.
coherence
There are reasons given for your view (cost, health, emotional support).

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general
What to do next:
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