IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In the past, people used to go to museums to learn facts about culture and history. Nowadays people can find all this freely on the Internet so the museums are no longer important. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

With the development of
technology
Add a comma
technology,
show examples
 many
people
Use synonyms
 are no longer visiting
meuseums
Correct your spelling
museums
.
People
Use synonyms
 now use
network
Correct article usage
the network
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 to explore
museums
Use synonyms
 with no ticket cost or transportation. I disagree because
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
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can’t
Use synonyms
 replace
the
Correct article usage
apply
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real life
Use the right word
real-life
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 experience. A
lot
Use synonyms
 of
people
Use synonyms
 have agreed that looking up online for art creatures and
historic
Replace the word
historical
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 material is much
accesable
Correct your spelling
accessible
 than visiting
museums
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. If you live in the same city, visiting
museums
Use synonyms
require
Correct subject-verb agreement
requires
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 you to buy a ticket to enter.
In addition
Linking Words
, if you don’t live in the same city
visiting
Punctuation problem
, visiting
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 an
aboard
Use the right word
abroad
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museum
Use synonyms
 can be a bit expensive.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,you will need to buy a plane,train or bus ticket
Punctuation problem
. Besides
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besides
Linking Words
 that
travelling
Punctuation problem
, travelling
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in
Change preposition
over
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a
Correct article usage
apply
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long
distance
Fix the agreement mistake
distances
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 can be exhausting to some
people
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some times
Use the right word
sometimes
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. As an example, many
people
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 want to visit the loafer
museum
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 in London, but they
can’t
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 afford
it
Punctuation problem
it,
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 so
instead
Linking Words
 they see content
creators
Check wording
creators'
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 videos on
youtube
Use the right word
YouTube
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 vlogging the whole tour.
While
Linking Words
 searching
up
Change preposition
apply
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online can be beneficial to
people
Use synonyms
 who
can’t
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 go to the actual
museum
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,
but
Correct word choice
apply
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 you
can’t
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 completely replace the whole
ecperince
Correct your spelling
experience
 with smart screens only. Being in a
museum
Use synonyms
 has a
lot
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 of advantages
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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. You can take a
lot
Use synonyms
 of pictures to save as memories. Cameras have a complete variation in
visualizing
Use the right word
visualising
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 history and art than seeing it
by
Change preposition
with
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 human eyes.
In addition
Linking Words
, in pictures they can look
completly
Correct your spelling
completely
 different
than
Change preposition
from
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 what they really look like in reality. As an example ,many
people
Use synonyms
 worldwide have bought a crafted or a painted art online, and many have been
disappoimted
Correct your spelling
disappointed
 with what they have gotten. In conclusion,
while
Linking Words
 many have benefited from the online experience of
Use synonyms
museum
Fix the agreement mistake
museums
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 rather than visiting an actual
museum
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,
but
Correct word choice
apply
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visiting
museums
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
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 a
lot
Use synonyms
 of good things to provide. I disagree with
this
Linking Words
 instinct because everyone must have the
free well
Replace the word
freedom
show examples
 to choose which option they prefer.

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Task Response
Your view is clear, but you need stronger reasons and more exact examples to show why the Internet cannot take the full role of a museum.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use simple links to connect ideas. Put ideas in order with clear paragraphs.
Language
Fix spelling and grammar. Use common sentence patterns and check word choice for accuracy.
Task Response
Your position on the issue is clear.
Content
You give some reasons about cost and travel to support your view.
Coherence
There is a simple structure: intro, body, and conclusion.
What to do next:
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