IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

As a results of tourism and the increasing number of people travelling, there is an growing demand for more flights.What problems does this have on the environment? What measures could be taken to slove the problem?

Nowadays
Punctuation problem
Nowadays,
show examples
 there is a
lot
Use synonyms
 of information about different types of
vacation
Fix the agreement mistake
vacations
show examples
 you can have
starting
Punctuation problem
, starting
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 from more common
like
Correct pronoun usage
ones like
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 relaxing on a beach or visiting cultural museums and exhibitions, and finishing with really unusual
like
Correct pronoun usage
ones like
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 hiking in
Alps
Correct article usage
the Alps
show examples
 or
study
Wrong verb form
studying
show examples
 the jungles near Amazonka,
Linking Words
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 is why
amount
Check wording
the number
show examples
 of
people
Use synonyms
traveling
Use the right word
travelling
show examples
Linking Words
this
Fix the agreement mistake
these
show examples
 days
in
Use the right word
is
show examples
 on the rise. The increase
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
travelers
Use the right word
travellers
show examples
cased
Use the right word
caused
show examples
 the increase
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
flights
Punctuation problem
flights,
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that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 has
strong
Correct article usage
a strong
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 effect on
Correct article usage
the enviroment
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enviroment
Correct your spelling
environment
. A main risk for the
environment
Use synonyms
 is
amount
Correct article usage
the amount
show examples
 of
pollution
Use synonyms
 that planes are
produsing
Correct your spelling
producing
 throughout every flight. Each one requires a
lot
Use synonyms
 of fuel that
release
Correct subject-verb agreement
releases
show examples
 a
lot
Use synonyms
 of toxins in the atmosphere.
That is
Linking Words
 because
people
Use synonyms
 are usually using a
disel
Correct your spelling
diesel
 or other types of fuel
that
Linking Words
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 not
eco-friendly
Punctuation problem
eco-friendly,
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that
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 means that our planet
becoming
Verb problem
is becoming
show examples
 less and less suitable for life. Another reason is
that
Correct determiner usage
the
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sounds
Replace the word
sound
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pollution
Use synonyms
 that planes and airports produce each day. The sound of
huge
Correct article usage
a huge
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 plane engine can disturb
wild life
Use the right word
wildlife
show examples
 and scare a
lot
Use synonyms
 of animals that are part of
Use synonyms
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
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. Sometimes it leads to
thing
Fix the agreement mistake
things
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 that animals are leaving their natural habitat and
attacks
Replace the word
attacking
show examples
 villages and small towns.
Linking Words
Also
Add a comma
Also,
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 it can affect
people
Use synonyms
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
lives
Correct subject-verb agreement
live
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 not far away from
airport
Correct article usage
the airport
show examples
.
Than
Use the right word
Then
show examples
Linking Words
this
Fix the agreement mistake
these
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 can be less productive and struggle
from
Change preposition
with
show examples
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
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 of concentration during the day. In order to solve
Linking Words
this
Fix the agreement mistake
these
show examples
problems
Punctuation problem
problems,
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 two key steps can be taken.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 can use eco-friendly petrol to prevent
atmosphere
Replace the word
atmospheric
show examples
pollution
Use synonyms
 or
either
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
start to travel more on
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
different types of
vehicle
Fix the agreement mistake
vehicles
show examples
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
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 as
trains
Punctuation problem
trains,
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that is
Linking Words
 less harmful
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
Use synonyms
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
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.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 should try to build
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
airports far away from wild areas. In
future
Add a comma
future,
show examples
 it would be great to use silent engines that will solve
sound
Correct article usage
the sound
show examples
pollution
Use synonyms
 problem and help the
environment
Use synonyms
. In conclusion,
Use synonyms
environment
Replace the word
environmental
show examples
 problems caused by plane
traveling
Use the right word
travelling
show examples
 can be solved effectively by changing
petrol
Change preposition
to petrol
show examples
 and
choose
Wrong verb form
choosing
show examples
 natural materials and
chose
Wrong verb form
choosing a proper
show examples
 place to build new airports
propraly
Rephrase
apply
show examples
.

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structure
Add a clear plan: one intro, two or three ideas in their own paragraphs, and a short end.
development
Give one or two clear examples for each main point to show you think about the topic.
linking
Use simple linking words to show how ideas fit, like first, then, also, but, so.
language
Check spelling and make sentences short and easy to read.
content
Be exact with facts and details about planes and env.
content strength
The essay notes two big areas: air pollution and noise from planes.
solution strength
There are ideas on how to fix the problem, not just talk.
task focus
The write keeps to the topic from start to end.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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