Some people think that the increase in the number of obese people should be the responsibility of the governments, while other think it should be the responsibility of individuals. Discuss both sides and give your opinion

Over the

last

Linking Words

few years, obesity has become a considerable issue among

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

people

Use synonyms

Therefore

Linking Words

, some

people

Use synonyms

argue that it is

local

Correct article usage

the local

show examples

administration's work to deal with

this

Linking Words

situation.

While

Linking Words

Punctuation problem

apply

show examples

others believe that

this

Linking Words

issue would be handled by

local

Correct article usage

the local

show examples

masses. So,

this

Linking Words

essay intends to

analysis

Replace the word

analyse

show examples

both the

prespectives

Correct your spelling

perspectives

Nevertheless

Linking Words

, I

inclined

Verb problem

am inclined

show examples

to the

later

Use the right word

latter

show examples

view.

To begin

Linking Words

with

Punctuation problem

with,

show examples

the

government

Check wording

government's

show examples

responsiblity

Correct your spelling

responsibility

this

Linking Words

on going

Use the right word

ongoing

show examples

problem of overweight,

local

Correct article usage

the local

show examples

authority is literally inattentive

the

Change preposition

to the

show examples

influence of unhealthy

food

Use synonyms

young

Correct article usage

the young

show examples

generation,

allow

Wrong verb form

allowing

show examples

Use synonyms

food

Correct article usage

the food

show examples

industry to advertise low-nutrient and fatty

food

Use synonyms

what

Fix capitalization

What

show examples

I mean to say, nowadays,

due to

Linking Words

the effect of eye-catching unhygienic

food

Use synonyms

's advertisement on television and other social media

platform

Fix the agreement mistake

platforms

show examples

people

Use synonyms

are

Verb problem

apply

show examples

tend to

comsume

Correct your spelling

consume

more fried and

packed

Replace the word

packaged

show examples

food

Use synonyms

than fresh and organic

one

Fix the agreement mistake

ones

show examples

, which

impact

Correct subject-verb agreement

impacts

show examples

their health

through

Change preposition

show examples

the

Correct article usage

show examples

tragic way and

cause

Correct subject-verb agreement

causes

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

bodyweight

disorder

Fix the agreement mistake

disorders

show examples

For example

Linking Words

thesedays

Correct your spelling

these days

, junk

food

Use synonyms

has been

Wrong verb form

is being

show examples

advertising

Replace the word

advertised

show examples

by a myriad of celebrities just for their own wealth

but

Punctuation problem

, but

show examples

masses who consider them their role model, follow them and buy

things

Check wording

apply

show examples

whatever they advertise.

That is

Linking Words

why, government must not only stop misleading

Fix the agreement mistake

advertisements

show examples

but

also

Linking Words

educate the youngsters about the importance of better

meal

Fix the agreement mistake

meals

show examples

On the other hand

Linking Words

, in spite of blaming others, it is own moral duty to stay healthy. Nowadays,

people

Use synonyms

are extremely busy with their headache schedule and do not have enough time to perform physical activities

, even

Punctuation problem

. Even

show examples

owing to insufficient time,

people

Use synonyms

often eat instant

packed

Replace the word

packaged

show examples

food

Use synonyms

or order from any restaurant, which is not fresh and healthy.

For instance

Linking Words

, in some western countries

including

Punctuation problem

, including

show examples

Canada, both partner goes to work and prefer to eat outside

than

Rephrase

rather than

show examples

cooking at home, the main reason

Verb problem

apply

show examples

behind

this

Linking Words

phenomenona islack

Correct your spelling

phenomenon is a lack

of free time and

busy

Correct article usage

a busy

show examples

lifestyle.

Moreover

Linking Words

, individuals are unaware

about

Change preposition

show examples

the impact of unhealthy

food

Use synonyms

and the benefits of

proper

Correct article usage

a proper

show examples

diety

Use the right word

diet

show examples

plan. To explain it,

masses

Correct article usage

the masses

show examples

have less knowledge about the importance of calories,

vitamin

Fix the agreement mistake

vitamins

show examples

, and minerals in

body

Correct article usage

the body

show examples

. As a

resu;t

Correct your spelling

result

, they eat

food

Use synonyms

without understanding the

efects

Correct your spelling

effects

of it. In conclusion,

people

Use synonyms

are

own answerable

Correct word choice

responsible for

show examples

their health, they must have

proper

Correct article usage

a proper

show examples

diet plan and

exsecise

Correct your spelling

exercise

everyday

Use the right word

every day

show examples

because it has a great contribution

Change preposition

show examples

the

well beingf

Correct your spelling

well-being

of human

being

Fix the agreement mistake

beings

show examples

tanwarraman53

Sep 10, 2025

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language

Work on errors in grammar and spelling to help clear meaning

structure

Use clear topic sentences and keep one idea per paragraph

coherence

Be more balanced and give stronger links between ideas when you compare sides

content

The essay shows an attempt to cover both sides and give an opinion

structure

There is a idea of a start, body and end in the piece

content

Examples are used to show points

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13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
58
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

368 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

obesity
responsibility
government intervention
public health
individual choices
lifestyle habits
health education
food environment
socioeconomic factors
nutrition awareness
unhealthy eating
caloric intake
dietary guidelines
personal accountability
cultural influences
advertising impact
community resources

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Some people think that the increase in the number of obese people should be the responsibility of the governments, while other think it should be the responsibility of individuals. Discuss both sides and give your opinion

Some people think that in modern society individuals are becoming more dependent on each other. Others believe people have become more independent. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge

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Young people these days are more interested in improving the way they look than in developing their social skills. What do you think are the causes of this problem? What measures could be taken to solve/reduce it?

In the 20th century, contact between different parts of the world has developed rapidly thanks to air travel and telecommunication. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

In some countries, online shopping is gradually replacing in-store shopping. Some people say that this is a positive trend, while others argue that it is leading to negative impacts. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.