IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Many people prefer to stay in the same type of work all their lives, while others prefer to change the type of work they do. Discuss both these preferences and give your own opinion.

Nowadays, as everybody knows, young
people
Punctuation problem
people,
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 once they have completed their
studies
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studies,
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 can choose between different types of
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
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. We can even choose to work from our home
everyday
Use the right word
every day
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 or
also
Linking Words
 to travel around the
word
Use the right word
world
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 working, we have a lot of opportunities. But the real
matters
Fix the agreement mistake
matter
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 is
that
Linking Words
is
Correct pronoun usage
it is
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 full of people
,
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apply
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 who
at
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, at
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 a certain
point
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point,
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wants
Correct subject-verb agreement
want
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 to
change
Use synonyms
 their
life
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 and
also
Linking Words
 to
change
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 their job.
This
Linking Words
changing
Replace the word
change
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 could depend
from
Change preposition
on
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 different reasons, but for sure the main reason could be the amount of work. Let's think about a lawyer or a doctor, who have to be available 24 hours a day
7
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, 7
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days a week
and
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, and
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 I think that in
this
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 way
at
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, at
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 a certain
point
Add a comma
point,
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 we all lose interest in what we do, and we prefer to find a new job which allows us to have a different style of
life
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. In my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
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 it is quite normal that after a lot of years we want to
change
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 our jobs, especially if it is a static job which never
Use synonyms
change
Correct subject-verb agreement
changes
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. To be honest with
you
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you,
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 I don't even know if I would be able to do the same thing
everyday
Use the right word
every day
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 for my entire
life
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, in
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. In
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fact
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fact,
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this
Linking Words
 kind of
life
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 doesn't stimulate you
and
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, and
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 once you lose
motivation
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motivation,
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 you
also
Linking Words
 lose what, until that moment, made you give your best. Unlikely not everyone agrees with my opinion, in fact, as you can imagine,
is
Correct pronoun usage
it is
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 full of people who are afraid of a possible
change
Use synonyms
 and who
doesn't
Correct subject-verb agreement
don't
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 want to accept new challenges, and for those reasons they prefer to stay where they are. In conclusion, I would like to say that, from my point of view, changes are important and that they give us the opportunity to grow
up
Change preposition
apply
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and to
change
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
into
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 a better version of ourselves.

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structure
Plan your answer. Start with a clear short intro that states both views and your view.
structure
Use two or three body ideas. Each paragraph should have one main idea and a simple example.
structure
Be clear about your view at the end. Do not leave the reader unsure.
vocabulary
Use simple words. Keep to the common words you know.
cohesion
Link ideas with simple words like First, Also, But, So, In addition, In conclusion.
content
The text shows a personal view.
content
There are some reasonable ideas about change and life work.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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