the bar chart shows the online sales of smartphones, laptops and tablets in the first quarter of the year.

the bar chart shows the online sales of smartphones, laptops and tablets in the first quarter of the year.
IELTS Writing Task Chart for the bar chart shows the online sales of smartphones, laptops and tablets in the first quarter of the year.
The bar diagram presents
a
Correct article usage
apply
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data on the average rates of an online purchase between three electrical devices (
smartphones
Use synonyms
, laptops,
tabletstablets
Correct your spelling
tablets
) in the first months of the year.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that there
is
Verb problem
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a fluctuating patterns in the sales and there
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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no constant trends between all the products.
To begin
Linking Words
with, in the first two months, the rates were variable. In January, the laptop was the highest in sales with 50 million units. Next come the
tablets
Use synonyms
with 30 , and
lastly
Linking Words
smartphones
Use synonyms
. But in February the the sales of laptops dropped to 35, overtaken by
tablets
Use synonyms
, which reached much higher , 65 units compared to the previous month , and
also
Linking Words
smartphones
Use synonyms
, which showed a similar trend as the
tablets
Use synonyms
. To continue, the
last
Linking Words
two months
also
Linking Words
experienced different patterns.
Smartphones
Use synonyms
start strong with 70 in March , but they fall to 40 in the following period.
In contrast
Linking Words
, laptops rose from 25 in March to 50 in April.
Lastly
Linking Words
,
tablets
Use synonyms
that were
also
Linking Words
similar to
smartphones
Use synonyms
. Begin with 60 but decrease to only 20
at the end
Linking Words
.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also, lastly".
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words smartphones, tablets with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "trends" was used 2 times.
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