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Writing Samples
Band 4

Many things can influence the academic achievement and emotional growth of a student. In this regard, peers have more of an impact than teachers do. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Many things can influence the academic achievement and emotional growth of a student. Some people think that cohort have more of an impact than teachers do. I totally agree with it for some reasons.
Firstly
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, students spend more time with their Generation X than with teachers.
For example
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, in middle school, recruitment will have different faculty to teach them different subjects. It is difficult to build a strong emotional relationship with a teacher. What is more, there is a big age gap between enlistment and cadre, leading to different ideas on the same things.
As a result
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, conscription
prefer
Correct subject-verb agreement
prefers
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 to chat with their contemporaries about their strengths and weaknesses in their academic studies. And
Correct article usage
the age'
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age'
Check wording
age
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 discussion will give admission more space to create their methods for solving some problems. Maybe their first try is not leading to the answer,but during the procedure they can sufficiently take advantage of their previous knowledge and methods to create some new ideas, which is very useful to cultivate acceptance' academic ability.
Secondly
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, with the development of technologies, more and more
accession
Check wording
people
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 prefer to make friends on the Internet. There are more abroad range of
crop
Fix the agreement mistake
crops
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who
Correct pronoun usage
that
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 are at a similar stage of age. engagement can obtain more and more information from the virtual world.
Additionally
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, it is easy for young
entry
Replace the word
entrants
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 to build chatting groups to communicate with each other because they have no relationship in real life. So they can speak
their
Change preposition
about their
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 difficulties in study easily. Of course, some vulnerable
recruitment
Check wording
individuals
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 may be attracted by some negative information.
To sum up
Linking Words
, Gen X have more of an impact than
crew
Correct article usage
the crew
show examples
do
Correct subject-verb agreement
does
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 to influence the academic achievement and emotional growth of a student.

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clarity
Make your view clear in the opening sentence and restate it in the final line.
lexical
Use simple, direct ideas and link them with clear words.
structure
Each paragraph should have one main idea with a clear example.
accuracy
Check word choice to avoid wrong terms like 'Generation X', 'recruitment', or 'conscription'.
coherence
Use transitions to connect ideas, such as 'also', 'however', 'for example'.
content
There is a clear stance on the topic.
structure
The essay has an organized layout (intro, body, conclusion).

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • academic achievement
  • emotional growth
  • peers
  • impact
  • role models
  • social support
  • motivate
  • strive
  • collaborative learning environment
  • share resources
  • provide explanations
  • self-esteem
  • peer pressure
  • bullying
  • emotional difficulties
  • social dynamics
  • educational environment
  • expertise
  • personal influence
  • daily attitudes and behaviors
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