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Writing Samples
Band 7

The chart below shows the amount of money in billions of dollars spent on international tourism by people from seven different countries in 2011 and 2012.

The chart below shows the amount of money in billions of dollars spent on international tourism by people from seven different countries in 2011 and 2012.
The given bar chart illustrates the amount of money, in billions of
dollars
Use synonyms
, spent on global tourism by several countries over a one-year period.
Overall
Linking Words
, tourist expenditure increased significantly in
China
Use synonyms
, the Russian Federation, and the
UK
Use synonyms
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
 meanwhile, spending levels in France and Canada remained unchanged. In the first year,
China
Use synonyms
 spent around 70
billion
Use synonyms
dollars
Use synonyms
 on international tourism, which was lower than
two
Correct article usage
the two
show examples
 countries Germany and the USA, which each accounted for 82
billion
Use synonyms
dollars
Use synonyms
.
According to
Linking Words
 details, the
UK
Use synonyms
 was the dominant trend, after
China
Use synonyms
 and devoted 25
billion
Use synonyms
dollars
Use synonyms
, whilst France was the top after the
UK
Use synonyms
, with roughly 40
billion
Use synonyms
, and the Russian Federation accounted for 30
billion
Use synonyms
. Canada spent the least, just under 20
billion
Use synonyms
dollars
Use synonyms
. By 2012,
China
Use synonyms
 had become the largest spender on global tourism, with 100
billion
Use synonyms
. Following the Russian Federation
also
Linking Words
 grew
up
Change preposition
apply
show examples
to 40
billion
Use synonyms
dollars
Use synonyms
.
In contrast
Linking Words
, Germany, the US,
the
Correct word choice
and the
show examples
UK
Use synonyms
 changed a little.
Besides
Linking Words
, France
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 and Canada remained unchanged.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words dollars, china, uk, billion with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "amount" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "unchanged" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • money
  • spend
  • spent
  • spending
  • billions
  • year
  • 2011
  • 2012
  • country
  • countries
  • tourism
  • travel
  • increase
  • rose
  • grew
  • decrease
  • fell
  • fall
  • change
  • more
  • less
  • highest
  • lowest
  • than
  • overall
  • pattern
  • notable
  • big
  • small
  • high
  • low
  • different
  • and
  • but
  • so
  • then
  • also
  • even
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