IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people suggest that bringing up children by the whole family includimg uncles, aunts and grandparents is better, rather than only by parents. To what extend are you agree or disagree?

There is no denying the fact that bringing up
children
Use synonyms
 is a vital
thing
Check wording
part
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during
Change preposition
of
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 family structuring.
While
Linking Words
 it is a commonly held belief that
whole
Correct article usage
the whole
show examples
 family
Use synonyms
members
Check wording
apply
show examples
should share in
Use synonyms
upbringing
Correct article usage
the upbringing
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 process. There is an argument that opposes it. In my opinion,
i
Fix capitalization
I
show examples
 consider that
the
Correct article usage
apply
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all
members
Use synonyms
 have a responsibility for their
children
Use synonyms
.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, some households argue that all family
members
Use synonyms
 should
be
Verb problem
apply
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participate in
Use synonyms
upbringing
Correct article usage
the upbringing
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for
Change preposition
of
show examples
children
Use synonyms
.
In other words
Linking Words
, they
considers
Correct subject-verb agreement
consider
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 that grandparents can provide a valuable morality for their grandchildren,
also
Linking Words
 contribute to
build
Wrong verb form
building
show examples
 their personality traits.
In addition
Linking Words
, some parents thought that uncles and aunts support their nephews emotionally
,
Punctuation problem
.
show examples
For example
Linking Words
, families in the Gulf nations, the
children
Use synonyms
 there related to their relatives
strongly
Rephrase
apply
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, and
gaining
Wrong verb form
gain
show examples
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
 of precious lessons. Another point to consider, when parents only have responsibility for their offspring is mostly positive. It is possible to say that
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 parents
only can
Correct word order
can only
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forming
Wrong verb form
form
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children
Use synonyms
's personalities and characters
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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as
Change preposition
according to
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they
Correct pronoun usage
their
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 preferences.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it helps oversight them and provide them with full
interested
Replace the word
interest
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.
For instance
Linking Words
, the
upbringing
Use synonyms
 patterns in
western
Fix capitalization
Western
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 countries,
such
Linking Words
 as the USA. They have an excellent way to educate our
children
Use synonyms
 about lifestyle by themselves, which can encourage the young to depend heavily on themselves
Change preposition
at in
show examples
in
Use the right word
an
show examples
 early stage. In conclusion, despite people having various views, I tend to believe that all family
members
Use synonyms
 should contribute to
Use synonyms
upbringing
Verb problem
raising
show examples
 their
children
Use synonyms
due to
Linking Words
 they can play a vital role in
provide
Wrong verb form
providing
show examples
 different life experiences for
children
Use synonyms
, which help them to navigate
the
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 future
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
.

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task response
Plan your essay with a clear start and end. Say your view in one line in the intro and restate it in the end.
coherence
Link ideas with simple words and one idea per sentence. Make the flow easy to follow.
grammar
Check small grammar points like I vs i, and how a sentence ends. Use simple forms.
task response
Your view is clear and you take a stand on the topic.
coherence
You use a few concrete examples from real places.
coherence
You try to link ideas with linking words like 'In addition' and 'For instance'.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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