IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Most countries want to improve standard of living through economic development, however others think social value is lost as a result. Do you think the advantages of economic development outweigh the disadvantages

In recent years, most countries
tend
Wrong verb form
have tended
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 to enhance their standard of living through economic
development
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 phenomenon has become common in many places, and there are several positive and negative reasons behind it. In
this
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 essay, I will discuss both points of view and provide my own opinion. The main reason for believing
this
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 trend has more benefits is its connection with
development
Use synonyms
 and living standards.
This
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 is because the government can allocate a special budget to construct or rebuild new public transportation,
such
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 as metro systems and high-speed rail, which might improve convenience for the general public.
In addition
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, higher household incomes enable families to allocate more resources to education, giving children better opportunities for the future.
Moreover
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, economic progress can relieve starvation and reduce poverty for many families by creating job vacancies and providing public services for them.
On the other hand
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,
this
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 trend brings some drawbacks to society. Lack of
organization
Use the right word
organisation
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 and rapid
development
Use synonyms
 lead to overwhelming stress on the environment.
In other words
Linking Words
, factories discharge wastewater into rivers and oceans, which might cause damage to biodiversity. At the same time, companies might develop in similar industries to earn profits.
As a result
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, a country might lose its traditional industries and culture, leading to a single-industry economy.
Therefore
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, the disadvantages can be relieved and resolved through efforts by both governments and individuals. In conclusion, I personally believe economic
development
Use synonyms
 can bring more benefits than drawbacks for a country.
Development
Use synonyms
 is closely related to living standards,
while
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 the problems can be resolved through joint efforts from both sides.

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task
In the intro, make a clear claim and in the end restate your view.
coherence
Each paragraph should have one main idea and use simple links to the next part.
coherence
Try to use more short sentences and clear links to guide the reader.
content
Add more real examples of how growth helps or harms to back up points.
structure
Strong overall plan with well grouped ideas.
content
Good use of examples like transport and jobs to back up points.
stance
Clear view is given at the end.
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