IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The most important aim of science should be to improve people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

With
science
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 being
one
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 of the most diverse subjects
that is
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 known for its ability to provide solutions and answers to complex situations, many
people
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 have come
with
Change preposition
to
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 the agreement that the most important
focus
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 of
science
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 should be to
alleviate
Verb problem
improve
show examples
people
Use synonyms
's
lives
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.
This
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 essay expresses mixed views
because
Punctuation problem
because,
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 yes, it is true that
science
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 should aim to enhance
people
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's
lives
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, but it should not be its most important aim. On
one
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 hand, scientific research is funded by the government
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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 is
subsequently
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 funded by
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society
so
Punctuation problem
, so
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 it is inevitable for
people
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 to want scientists to
focus
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 on the betterment of the community.
For instance
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, many countries
such
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 as the United States have taxpayers
where
Correct word choice
whose
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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money
that is
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 generated from them is used to fund hospitals, research projects and many other public resources. By aiming to improve the
lives
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 of individuals, it not only pleases and reassures the citizens but
also
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 adds value to
the
Correct pronoun usage
their
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lives
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 of individuals and brings a sense of pride towards
one
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's
country
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.
On the other hand
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, it is not wise for scientists to put all their efforts
on
Change preposition
into
show examples
one
Use synonyms
 category alone. But
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instead
Add a comma
instead,
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 they should divide their resources and manpower
to
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among
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 various situations that need to be focused on.
For example
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,
instead
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 of only focusing on
people
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's needs, they should
focus
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 on improving technology, military power and new inventions that could bring immense power to
one
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's
country
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.
With
Change preposition
By
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 strengthening their manpower and increasing their economic resources, a
country
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 would naturally
focus
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 on its
people
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which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
will
Wrong verb form
would
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 tremendously improve their
lives
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. In summary,
although
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 focusing on the betterment of
individual's
Check wording
individuals'
show examples
lives
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 is an important aspect, it should not be the only main
focus
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 of
science
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but
Punctuation problem
, but
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instead
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 it should
also
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 be able to
focus
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 on improving technology,
millitary
Correct your spelling
military
 power and research projects that bring value not only to the
country
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 but
also
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 to an individual's life.

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structure
Make your view clear in the intro and stay with it in all parts.
coherence
Start each paragraph with a clear topic sentence that states the main idea.
task
Give reasons and connect them to the main claim. Use simple, direct links.
content
Use real examples or better examples, and explain why they matter.
grammar
Check spelling and grammar, and keep word choice simple.
content
Clear attempt to discuss both sides of the issue.
structure
Good overall structure with introduction, body, and conclusion.
content
Use of some good examples to illustrate points.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • crucial role
  • enhancing
  • quality of human life
  • advancements
  • medicine
  • healthcare
  • scientific research
  • solving societal problems
  • improving living standards
  • global issues
  • climate change
  • food scarcity
  • technological advancements
  • limitations
  • negative consequences
  • ethical considerations
  • sustainability
  • environmental preservation
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