IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think that the best way to become successful in life is to get a university education, whereas others say this is no longer true. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. (24.07.25)

Some people think that the best way to have a successful life is to get an education level equal to
university
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
 think it is no longer the case. I am going to discuss both opinions
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
this
Linking Words
 argument in my essay below and give my personal view in the conclusion. On the one hand, getting a
university
Use synonyms
 education has some advantages. You will get the technical expertise which will be used in the
jobs
Use synonyms
 u choose. Some
jobs
Use synonyms
 require
high
Correct article usage
a high
show examples
 level of technique to work well,
for example
Linking Words
: Finance, technician, data analysis, etc… . The high school knowledge
lack
Correct subject-verb agreement
lacks
show examples
 the capability to work with those complex problems, like
:
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 marketing,
logistic
Fix the agreement mistake
logistics
show examples
, IT, .. are the subjects that
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 taught in
university
Use synonyms
 only. It will
also
Linking Words
 provide a professional network between colleagues since most will follow the same career path. It will teach us some soft
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
show examples
 and leadership.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, other
career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
show examples
does
Correct subject-verb agreement
do
show examples
 not bring bad
effect
Fix the agreement mistake
effects
show examples
. Some
jobs
Use synonyms
 need
an
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 special path to evolve, like football, drawing,... basically art and
jobs
Use synonyms
 that require physical activities. Some
family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
show examples
 don’t have good financial conditions to learn at
university
Use synonyms
, so they have to learn some fast, easy
jobs
Use synonyms
 to make money and live on.
For example
Linking Words
making
Punctuation problem
, making
show examples
 nails,
barber
Replace the word
barbering
show examples
 and fashion design. In conclusion, learning at
university
Use synonyms
 is both advantageous and disadvantageous in many
angles
Check wording
ways
show examples
. In my view, I still have the tendency to choose
university
Use synonyms
 education since I can do much more challenging
jobs
Use synonyms
 and make more money from it compared to easier
jobs
Use synonyms

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content
Add more details to each point and give clear reasons or steps to show why an idea matters.
structure
Group ideas in separate paragraphs and use one main idea in each paragraph for better structure.
coherence
Use simple link words to connect ideas, like 'but', 'also', 'for example', and 'therefore'.
grammar
Check spelling and grammar. Some phrases are not natural. Use standard phrases like 'university education' instead of 'education level equal to university'.
structure
The essay has a clear plan with an intro, body, and conclusion.
content
Two sides are shown and your own view is given at the end.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • university degree
  • specialized knowledge
  • critical thinking skills
  • networking opportunities
  • vocational training
  • self-made entrepreneurs
  • gig economy
  • online courses
  • certifications
  • formal education
  • practical experience
  • lifelong learning
  • career goals
  • individual circumstances
  • academic qualifications
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