IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people think the best way to solve global environmental problem is to increase the cost of fuel. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

According to
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 some
people
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, the perfect method to deal with environmental issues is to increase the price of fuel. In my opinion, I agree that
this
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 is an effective method, but there are other important steps that can
also
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 be taken to protect the
environment
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. On the one hand, when the cost of fuel is higher,
people
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 will reduce the usage of private cars.
In other words
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,
people
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 will not simply waste their money, and they will start using public transportation,
such
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 as buses and trains. Owing to
this
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, the number of cars on the road will
also
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 decrease greatly.
Therefore
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, because of
this
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, the rate of carbon emissions from cars will
also
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 drop, which will help to improve the quality of the air.
Furthermore
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, when the price gets higher, the government will start thinking about renewable energy, namely wind, solar, and hydro energy, which are environmentally friendly and cheaper than fossil fuels.
On the other hand
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, there are other methods that can be used.
Firstly
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, the government can introduce awareness programmes to educate
people
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 about protecting the
environment
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.
For instance
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, they should not simply throw rubbish into the sea or rivers, as
this
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 can harm fish
as well as
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 plants.
Hence
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, the sea and rivers will always be protected.
Secondly
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, the government can
also
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 enforce strict environmental regulations. If
people
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 damage the
environment
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, they must be punished. With these rules,
people
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 will think twice before doing anything that could be harmful to the
environment
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.
To sum up
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, I once again reaffirm my position that increasing the cost of fuel can help the
environment
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, but by having awareness programmes and strict rules, the benefits will be even greater.

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task
You state a clear view and give two ideas with examples. To reach a higher band, add more detail on how each point makes the view true and give a short counterpoint and reply.
coherence
Your essay is organized and easy to follow. Use more linking words to connect ideas and keep a steady flow from one paragraph to the next.
strength
Clear view on the topic.
strength
Good use of two main ideas with examples.
strength
Balanced conclusion that repeats your view.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • consumption
  • emissions
  • alternative energy
  • conservation
  • mitigate
  • renewable energy technologies
  • affordability
  • collective action
  • innovation in energy efficiency
  • global cooperation
  • environmental measures
  • pollution
  • economic disparity
  • revenue
  • sustainable development
  • environmental sustainability
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