IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Augmented Reality technology is beneficial. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

It is undeniable that the changes in societies can
led
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lead
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 to a wide range of opportunities and challenges. Nowadays, augmented reality
technology
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 is
benefical
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beneficial
 for individuals. I
am
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apply
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partially agree with the statement,
although
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technology
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 makes life convenient, it
also
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 brings various complications.
This
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 essay will support my viewpoint. On the
one
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 hand, there are several advantages of
advance
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advanced
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technology
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, but
one
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 of the prominent
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one
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ones
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 is that it
boost
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boosts
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 the
work-productivity
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work productivity
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.
In other words
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,
artifical
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artificial
 intelligence
works
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performs
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 repetitive tasks more
quicker
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quickly
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 and
accurate
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accurately
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as compare
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compared
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 to humans. It works 24/7 without
break
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a break
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, leading to increasing work output and reducing
work-error
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work errors
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.
Moreover
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, it makes the communication flexible and convenient
,
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;
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 citizens can connect anywhere and at any time through social media apps,
such
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 as Instagram and
Whatsapp
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WhatsApp
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.
For example
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, citizens
live
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living
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 overseas can easily connect there family
by
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through
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 social media.
On the other hand
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, despite these merits, modern
technology
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 has various demerits.
One
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 of the notable demerits is that it
negtively
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negatively
 impacts both physical and mental health of
public
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the public
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.
This
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 means that
,
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apply
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 humans use more screen time
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, that
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that
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which
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 causes eye strain, sleep pattern disturbance and a sedentary lifestyle.
Furthermore
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, mental diseases,
such
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 as anxiety and
depression
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depression,
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 can be caused by excessive use of mobile phones.
Additionally
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,
artifical
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artificial
 intelligence causes unemployment, especially
low-skilled
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among low-skilled
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 workers
, many
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. Many
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 industries prefer robots over humans,
due to
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 which many workers find themselves jobless, leading to mental and financial burden.
For instance
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, Amazon
company
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apply
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fired thousands of workers
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due
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, due
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to
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in
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which they
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them
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suffer
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suffering
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 from mental and financial issues. In conclusion,
although
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 cutting-edge
technology
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 has various
boon
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boons
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,
such
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 as
boost
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boosting
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work-efficiency
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work efficiency
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 and global connection, its bane,
such
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 as unemployment and negative impact on
health
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health,
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 should not be ignored. In my
opine
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opinion
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, I partially agree with the benefits of
technology
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.
Therefore
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, it is important to strike a balance approach, so that the merits outweigh the demerits

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Task Response
Work more on the main idea about AR. Use AR as the main topic in each idea and give clear, fit examples.
Coherence
Link ideas with clear and steady ties. Use simple links like and, but, so, because, also to show how ideas fit.
Structure
Show a clear plan in the start and end. Make introduction short and the conclusion restates the view.
Content
Use more real examples about how AR helps or harms. Keep it simple and on topic.
Language
Fix spelling and grammar errors. Watch words like negative and opine.
Content
The essay shows both sides of the issue.
Position
A clear view is stated (you partly agree).
Examples
Some examples are used to back points.
What to do next:
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