In many countries, children in remote villages and communities have no access to education. some people believe that the best solution will be provide teacher and schools. others think that providing computer and internet in these areas will be a better solution. Discuss both the views and give your opinion.

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The perspectives on how to improve education in remote communities vary widely. Some argue that building more
schools
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and hiring additional
teachers
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is the best solution,
while
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others believe that providing access to
computers
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and the Internet is more important. In
this
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essay, I will discuss both views and explain why I strongly agree with the former approach. On the one hand, establishing new
schools
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and hiring more
teachers
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ensures that
children
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in rural areas receive basic educational resources.
Schools
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not only provide academic knowledge but
also
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foster an environment for personal growth through interaction with peers and
teachers
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.
For instance
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,
children
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can develop social skills, teamwork abilities, and self-confidence through group activities and classroom discussions.
Additionally
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,
teachers
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play a crucial role in guiding students and addressing their individual learning needs, which is difficult to achieve solely through technology.
On the other hand
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,
while
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access to
computers
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and the Internet offers potential benefits, it can
also
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lead to negative outcomes. One major concern is the risk of addiction to video games or social media, which can distract
children
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from their studies.
This
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issue is already prevalent in urban areas, where excessive screen time reduces students' focus and productivity.
Furthermore
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, prolonged use of
computers
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can harm physical health.
For example
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, constant screen exposure without proper breaks can lead to eye strain or nearsightedness,
while
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a sedentary lifestyle may contribute to chronic health issues
such
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as obesity and hypertension. In conclusion,
although
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computers
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and the Internet can enhance learning, their drawbacks, including reduced learning efficiency and health risks, outweigh the benefits.
In contrast
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, investing in
schools
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and
teachers
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provides
children
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with a well-rounded education and essential social experiences, making it a more effective solution for improving education in remote areas.
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task response
Ensure to balance both views equally before stating your opinion to provide a more nuanced perspective.
task response
Expand on the examples by providing more specific data or case studies, which can strengthen your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Use varied linking words and phrases to further enhance the flow between sentences and paragraphs.
task response
The essay presents a clear and well-structured argument, addressing both views and explaining your own opinion distinctly.
coherence and cohesion
Logical progression of ideas is evident, with well-motivated paragraphs and a solid conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Effective use of introductory and concluding paragraphs that clearly outline and summarize the argument.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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