Despite a variety of sport facilities and gyms, people are less fit nowadays than ever before. What do you think are the main causes of this problem? What solutions can you suggest

In
this
Linking Words
contemporary era,
government
Fix the agreement mistake
governments
show examples
acknowledge the importance of physical activity.
Therefore
Linking Words
, they are providing infrastructure that facilitates citizens with all the facilities. But
busy
Correct article usage
a busy
show examples
lifestyle, work overload, lack of
time
Use synonyms
, improper diet and other
responsibilties
Correct your spelling
responsibilities
make them vulnerable to
unfit
Correct article usage
an unfit
show examples
body.
This
Linking Words
Linking Words
also is
Correct word order
is also
show examples
a contributory factor for various illnesses. On the one hand,
unhealthy
Correct article usage
an unhealthy
show examples
diet and outdoor food
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
the first
reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
show examples
.
Likewise
Linking Words
, the
work load
Use the right word
workload
show examples
is
too
Rephrase
so
show examples
intense that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
might not have sufficient
time
Use synonyms
to
involve
Wrong verb form
be involved
show examples
in any
such
Linking Words
activity. Sometimes the gyms and
sports
Use synonyms
facilities are not in proximity, so
people
Use synonyms
tend to be inactive to visit
place
Fix the agreement mistake
places
show examples
that are far away. Playing
sports
Use synonyms
require
Correct subject-verb agreement
requires
show examples
skills and
not
Verb problem
is not
show examples
possible for many
people
Use synonyms
. Family responsibilities
such
Linking Words
as childcare and
houshold
Correct your spelling
household
chores make
impossible
Correct pronoun usage
it impossible
show examples
for them to work on their fitness.
Now-a-days
Use the right word
Nowadays
show examples
, the availability of machines and appliances
made
Verb problem
has made
show examples
it easier to perform daily chores.
Before
Punctuation problem
Before,
show examples
it was all done manually.
This
Linking Words
is the other reason for
increase
Correct article usage
the increase
show examples
in the number of obese patients.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
issue can be resolved by
time
Use synonyms
management, scheduling every task, providing priority to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
healthcare and sharing equal responsibilities. The daily chores can be performed in
timely
Correct article usage
a timely
show examples
manner
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
by maintaining
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
in the calendar provides a clear thought.
This
Linking Words
will provide enough
time
Use synonyms
for other crucial activities.
Similarly
Linking Words
, authorities can pass the bill for gyms and
sports
Use synonyms
club
Fix the agreement mistake
clubs
show examples
to open
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
every
three mile
Use the right word
three-mile
show examples
distance.
Sports
Use synonyms
games in
workplace
Correct article usage
the workplace
show examples
enhances
Correct subject-verb agreement
enhance
show examples
the possibility of the involvement of the
workforces
Fix the agreement mistake
workforce
show examples
in the
activitiy
Correct your spelling
activity
. Timely arrangement of the marathons proved beneficial for all age groups. In conclusion, authorities
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
providing infrastructure for the residents
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
it is the
responsibilty
Correct your spelling
responsibility
of the
people
Use synonyms
to use
them
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
appropriately for
healthy
Correct article usage
a healthy
show examples
and disease-free life.

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content
Your main idea is clear, but some parts are not tied to the task. Strengthen how each cause links to a fix.
structure
Plan your essay with an opening line that states the view, two body paragraphs, and a short conclusion. Each paragraph should have one main idea.
grammar/lexical
Use correct spelling and careful grammar. Fix words like 'responsibilties', 'houshold', 'Now-a-days'.
examples
Include specific examples or numbers to make points stronger, e.g., '30 minutes of activity most days' or 'nearby gym within 2 km'.
style
Keep language simple and use common words. Avoid long sentences. Use simple linking words like 'First', 'Then', 'But', 'So'.
overall
The essay tries to cover both causes and solutions.
structure
There are clear signposts like 'On the one hand' and 'On the other hand'.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
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