IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In the future, it seems more difficult to live on the Earth. Some people think more money should be spent on researching other planet to live, such as Mars. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is assumed that it will become hard to survive on the
Earth
Use synonyms
 in future.
Therefore
Linking Words
, many individuals believe in spending funds to research other
planets
Use synonyms
 to live on,
while
Linking Words
 others debate against
this
Linking Words
. I completely disagree with
this
Linking Words
 point because I consider it
waste
Correct article usage
a waste
show examples
 of resources, which can be spent on improving the quality of life on the
Earth
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, these
researches
Check wording
studies
show examples
 are mostly inconclusive, as far as
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 life-supporting
planets
Use synonyms
 are concerned. I will
further
Linking Words
 explicate my point in
this
Linking Words
 essay below.
Firstly
Linking Words
, I believe that these
type
Fix the agreement mistake
types
show examples
 of inventions involve spending of huge amount of fortune by the government, which
otherwise
Linking Words
 could be used for the improvement of living conditions on the
Earth
Use synonyms
. Our world will become
inhabitable
Use the right word
uninhabitable
show examples
 in the distant future because of its
depriving
Correct word choice
deteriorating
show examples
 conditions,
due to
Linking Words
 increasing pollution and global warming.
Hence
Linking Words
,
instead
Linking Words
 of spending money
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the discovery of other
planets
Use synonyms
, it should be used to keep a check on the factors that are responsible for
declining
Replace the word
the decline in
show examples
 the age of our planet.
For example
Linking Words
, more finances should be contributed by the governments across the globe to grow more and more trees, which can help to keep the
Earth
Use synonyms
 breathing.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, it is a well-known fact that most of the
researches
Fix the agreement mistake
research
show examples
 done by astronautical scientists
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 mostly a dead-end. It takes several efforts for an invention to be successful.
This
Linking Words
 is because these attempts involve various highly-funded activities, including but not limited to, sending the
aircrafts
Correct your spelling
aircraft
 and spaceships for research, with no
guranttee
Correct your spelling
guarantee
 of it being successful.
Therefore
Linking Words
, if a research
fails
Check wording
project fails
show examples
, it is a huge wastage of resources, which could have been used for other experimentations.
For example
Linking Words
, Chandrayan-2, a high-profile space investigation programme
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 launched by ISRO in
India
Punctuation problem
India,
show examples
 was a failure
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and resulted in wastage of billions of rupees. Conclusively, I strongly agree
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
 the point that searching for habitation on other
planets
Use synonyms
 is completely unnecessary, and results in
depreviation
Correct your spelling
deprivation
 of money because we still have hope to improve the conditions of
Use synonyms
earth
Fix capitalization
Earth
show examples
 to increase its lifespan.
Secondly
Linking Words
, these
researches
Check wording
studies
show examples
 are inconclusive and confusing, since they
dont
Correct your spelling
don't
 lead us anywhere.

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task response
You state a clear view and give reasons. Try to add one more strong idea and give more simple facts to back it up.
coherence
Link ideas with simple words like and, but, also, for example to show how each idea fits.
positive
Your position is clear and you use a real example.
positive
The essay has a simple plan with an intro, two body parts, and a conclusion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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