IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people say that the governments should pay for health care and education but others think that this is not the govrnment's reseponsibility. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

It is often claimed that some individuals believe that authorities should fund
for
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apply
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medical care and
education
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,
while
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 others argue that
this
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 is not the
government
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's duty.
This
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 essay will discuss both perspectives before explaining why I believe that the influence of funding
health
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services
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 and
education
Use synonyms
 is more beneficial. On the one hand, one compelling argument in
favor
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favour
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 of
ruling
Correct article usage
the ruling
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 body is that it has supported the
health
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 and
education
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 sectors by
strengthening
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apply
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increasing investment.
In particular
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, when people are aware that medical
services
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 and schooling are supported, they will have greater confidence in public
services
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.
For example
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, if people live in remote areas, they can continue their
education
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 or be provided with
the
Correct article usage
apply
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health
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 consultations through dedicated educational and
health
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 care platforms.
Moreover
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,
such
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 applications facilitate the preservation of
health
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 and educational connections for individuals, regardless of their physical location.
Nevertheless
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, some argue that these forms of assistance in
health
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 and
education
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 lack usefulness, but for many, they remain impactful and fulfilling.
On the other hand
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, it is true that authorities have
right
Correct article usage
the right
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 to refuse responsibilities for many reasons.
Firstly
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, giving the private sector the opportunity to participate in state development reduces the burdens on the
government
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 and increases the quality of
services
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.
For instance
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, when private companies invest in building
hospital
Fix the agreement mistake
hospitals
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 and schools, citizens benefit from improved facilities without the
government
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 bearing the full financial responsibility.
Secondly
Linking Words
, because a lot of nations have limited financial capacity, they lack the ability to allocate substantial resources to the
health
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 and
education
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 systems.
Therefore
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, many nations
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 avoid their duty of fully supporting these two sectors. In conclusion,
although
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 there are several ways to fund schooling and
health
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 care, I firmly believe that the
government
Use synonyms
 plays a far more crucial role in supporting people and promoting a healthy and educational life in today's world.

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structure
Focus on one clear position in the intro and repeat it in the conclusion. Avoid adding new ideas in the last paragraph.
coherence
Use smooth linking words to show contrast and balance, like 'however', 'yet', and 'also' in a simple way.
content
Give one or two strong examples for each point to back up ideas. Keep examples short and clear.
grammar
Check for easy grammar to avoid long, confusing sentences. Use simple, short sentences when you can.
structure
Clear stance in the conclusion and a simple format that shows both sides.
content
The essay gives both sides and ends with an opinion.
coherence
Uses some linking phrases to move from one idea to another.
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