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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The bar chart below shows the percentage of the population in th UK who consumed the recommended daily amout of fruit and vegetables in 2002, 2006 and 2010

The bar chart below shows the percentage of the population in th UK who consumed the recommended daily amout of fruit and vegetables in 2002, 2006 and 2010
The given bar chart displays the distribution of citizens in the UK who ate the recommended daily intake of fruit and vegetables over
a
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 8-year period (2002, 2006, and 2010). In general, women consumed more fruits and vegetables than both men and children during the period. The rate of these individuals
were
Verb problem
apply
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fluctuated throughout the timeframe. Starting with women, in 2002, it represented roughly 25% of
total
Correct article usage
the total
show examples
,
meanwhile
Add a comma
meanwhile,
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 men were 22% and only 11% of children. After four years, consumption had increased and reaching to their peak. Females
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 accounted for 32%, whilst men’s percentage increased
about
Change preposition
by about
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 6%, meanwhile offspring
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
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 just 5%, and
illustrating
Verb problem
accounted for
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 28% and 16%.
According to
Linking Words
 details, the percentage of women went down about 5%, and
highlighting
Verb problem
rose
show examples
 27%.
Besides
Linking Words
, the percentage of men and children
also
Linking Words
 fell, demonstrating 24% and 16%. Despite the number
decreased
Wrong verb form
decreasing
show examples
, they still remained higher than in 2002.

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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