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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph shows the number of tourists visiting the Galapagos Islands between 2015 and 2022. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the man features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph shows the number of tourists visiting the Galapagos Islands between 2015 and 2022. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the man features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The figure illustrates the
quantity
Check wording
number
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 of foreigners (in
millions
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) visiting the Galapagos
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Island
Fix the agreement mistake
Islands
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 from the year of 2015 to 2022.
Overall
Linking Words
, it demonstrates an increased
trend
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 of the
number
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 of
visitors
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 going there,
while
Linking Words
 the
trend
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 for
stayingon
Correct your spelling
staying on
cruise
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ships
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 and staying on
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island
Correct article usage
the island
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 became more
converge
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convergent
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at the end
Linking Words
 of the time period.
Refering
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Referring
 to the statistics, the total
number
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 of
visitors
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in
Change preposition
to
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Galapagos
Correct article usage
the Galapagos
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Use synonyms
Island
Fix the agreement mistake
Islands
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 increased steadily
across
Change preposition
over
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 a
7 years
Correct your spelling
7-year
 period. In 2015, around 1
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millions
Fix the agreement mistake
million
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of
Change preposition
apply
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visitors
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have
Verb problem
apply
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visited the
island
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. The
trend
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 kept
rises
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rising
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 slowly to more than 2.6
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millions
Fix the agreement mistake
million
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 before it levelled off from 2022 to 2021. It was followed by a continuous increase till the year of 2022,
where
Correct word choice
when
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 the total
number
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 of tourists arrived at more than 3.4
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millions
Fix the agreement mistake
million
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. For the similarities and
differneces
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differences
 between the
trend
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 of
visitors
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 staying on
cruise
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ships
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 and staying on
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island
Correct article usage
the island
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, they both
demonstrates
Correct subject-verb agreement
demonstrate
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 an upward
trend
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 in the time period.
However
Linking Words
, regarding
visitors
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 staying on
cruise
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ships
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, the
number
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 went down from 0.8
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millions
Fix the agreement mistake
million
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 to 0.5
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millions
Fix the agreement mistake
million
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 in 2017. It
then
Linking Words
 kept rising to 2
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millions
Fix the agreement mistake
million
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 in the year of 2022. The
number
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 of
visitors
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 staying on
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island
Correct article usage
the island
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 shows a slightly different
trend
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, where the quantity of
visitors
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 increased from 0.8
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millions
Fix the agreement mistake
million
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 in 2015 to almost 1.6
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millions
Fix the agreement mistake
million
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 in 2020,
then
Linking Words
 experienced a decrease from 2020 to 1
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millions
Fix the agreement mistake
million
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 in 2021.
Nonetheless
Linking Words
, the figure went up again and
converge
Wrong verb form
converged
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 with the
number
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 of
staying
Check wording
people staying
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 on
cruise
Use synonyms
ships
Use synonyms
 in 2022.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words millions, island, trend, number, visitors, cruise, ships with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 6 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "went down" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 4 times.
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