IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Many people go to university for academic study. More people should be encouraged to do vocational training because there is a lack of qualified workers, such as electricians and plumbers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Academic universities are more popular than vocational training recently cause qualified workers
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
elimited
Correct your spelling
limited
consisting
Punctuation problem
, consisting
show examples
 of electricians and plumbers. Many ideas
give
Verb problem
suggest
show examples
 that we should encourage them to register in vocational training to improve
this
Linking Words
 case. I partly agree with
this
Linking Words
 suggestion based on some major reasons that are explained in
this
Linking Words
 essay. On the one hand, there are some persuasive rationales that support the claim that vocational training should be registered by students. In
this
Linking Words
 day and age, most people tend to
study
Use synonyms
 at
academic
Correct article usage
an academic
show examples
 university because they want to have
excenllent
Correct your spelling
excellent
study
Use synonyms
 fame and do
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
 without
heavy
Verb problem
being heavy
show examples
.
This
Linking Words
 would
should results
Wrong verb form
result
show examples
 in making the country fail to develop effectively with a large
of
Check wording
number of
show examples
 unemployments. Because
country
Correct article usage
the country
show examples
 would lack
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
qualified workers about electricians and
plumber
Fix the agreement mistake
plumbers
show examples
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 over the limit of academic forces. If we encourage people to attend
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
vocational training, it would balance forces between academic and
pratice
Correct your spelling
practical
major
Fix the agreement mistake
majors
show examples
 and most people
woud
Correct your spelling
would
have works
Wrong verb form
work
show examples
 for their livelihood.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, despite the idealistic nature of encouraging
to
Verb problem
apply
show examples
study
Use synonyms
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 vocational training
for increasing
Change preposition
to increase
show examples
 qualified workers, its actual applications could bring about many obstacles and problems. It is difficult to change the social prejudice that they should
study
Use synonyms
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
vocational training to have a good job in the future.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, they have to accept that they would do
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
heavy work
with
Change preposition
for
show examples
small
Correct article usage
a small
show examples
 amount of salary.
As a result
Linking Words
, the proposed measure may not be implemented successfully. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 it
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 many difficult problems to solve when
encouring
Correct your spelling
encouraging
 students,
Correct article usage
the goverment
show examples
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
 should try to improve that to balance forces and enhance
life
Check wording
the lives
show examples
 of
civils
Use the right word
civilians
show examples
.

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structure
Say your view in a clear line at the start and keep to this view.
development
Give one idea per paragraph and add a simple example or fact to back it up.
language
Fix spelling and make the grammar easier with short, clean sentences.
coherence
Use linking words to show order and compare, but do not over do them.
structure
End with a short sum up that restates your view.
content
There is a real attempt to answer the question and a view is shown.
coherence
The writer uses linking phrases such as On the one hand and On the other hand.
structure
There is a basic plan with an intro, body and conclusion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • skilled workers
  • vocational training
  • academic study
  • qualified
  • electricians
  • plumbers
  • technicians
  • hands-on experience
  • job market
  • infrastructure
  • economy
  • unemployment rates
  • consumer spending
  • educational paths
  • job satisfaction
  • societal resilience
  • versatile workforce
What to do next:
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