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Band 7

Some people think that renewable energy sources like solar and wind power should replace fossil fuels such as coal and gas as soon as possible. Others think we should continue to use fossil fuels while it is still cheap to do so. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #energy #sources #wind #power #fuels #gas
Nowadays, using fossil
fuels
,
such
 as coal and gas, can have a detrimental impact on the environment.
Therefore
, many people believe that renewable
energy
 should be used in lieu of fossil
fuels
,
while
 others believe that they should use fossil
fuels
 as they are cheap. In
this
 essay, I will elaborate on both standpoints and give my thoughts about
this
 issue. On the one hand, alternative
energy
sources
 have several benefits. First of all, it can improve the environment around the
world
. In fact, clean
energy
sources
 do not produce as many emissions as coal and gas, and in some cases, they are carbon-free.
As a result
, less harmful gases are discharged into the atmosphere and the soil, reducing both air and soil pollution.
Second,
there is an abundance of renewable
energy
. Specifically, there is no need to worry about scarcity because some
energy
 that comes from the sun or wind is limitless, unlike fossil
fuels
, which are nearly exhausted.
On the other hand
, fossil
fuels
 still play a vital role in people's lives.
To begin
 with, fossil
fuels
 are now the most used
energy
sources
 in the
world
 because they are affordable and easy to obtain, especially essential for least developed and developing countries.
For instance
,
according to
 the BBC, in 2023, 92.6% of all activities in the
world
 are operated by fossil
fuels
,
such
 as generating electricity or making machines.
In other words
, fossil
fuels
 are the major
energy
sources
 in the
world
, and there has been no alternative
energy
 that can be compared to them until now. In conclusion, both renewable
energy
 and fossil
fuels
 have some advantages in various aspects;
however
, I believe that renewable
energy
sources
 like solar or wind should be prioritized more in order to surpass the performance of fossil
energy
 to protect the environment.
Submitted by khoianh2404 on

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task achievement
Your essay does an excellent job of addressing the task itself by discussing both viewpoints and providing your own opinion. Keep up this clarity in future essays as well.
supported main points
While you have good logical flow, your points could be more strongly supported by detailed examples and data. For instance, you could elaborate more on how renewable energy is being implemented successfully in certain countries.
logical structure
Ensure your transition between paragraphs is smooth and follows logically from the previous point. For example, tying in the conclusion to the body paragraphs could enhance the logical closure of the essay.
introduction conclusion present
Excellent introduction and conclusion that clearly outline and summarize the issues and your stance.
clear comprehensive ideas
The ideas you present are comprehensive and clearly expressed, making it easy for the reader to follow your argument.
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