IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people think that the government is responsible for looking after the elderly. Others believe that it should be family members. Who do you think should take responsibility?

nowaday
Use the right word
Nowadays
show examples
 elderly is a huge issue
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 are getting older and older.
the
Fix capitalization
The
show examples
government
Use synonyms
 has some
policy
Fix the agreement mistake
policies
show examples
 for the elderly. Some
people
Use synonyms
 think that the
government
Use synonyms
 is responsible for looking after the elderly. Others believe that it should be family members.
i
Fix capitalization
I
show examples
 will
dicuss
Correct your spelling
discuss
 who should take
responsibility
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 taking
care
Use synonyms
 of the elderly below.
on
Fix capitalization
On
show examples
one
Correct article usage
the one
show examples
 hand, some
people
Use synonyms
 think that the
government
Use synonyms
 is responsible for looking after the elderly.
they
Fix capitalization
They
show examples
 believed that the
government
Use synonyms
 is the major
Use synonyms
care
Use the right word
caregiver
show examples
giver
Use synonyms
 of the
elder
Replace the word
elderly
show examples
.
the
Fix capitalization
The
show examples
 policy for the elderly is not enough, the
government
Use synonyms
 should
provid
Correct your spelling
provide
more
benfits
Correct your spelling
benefits
 for the elderly.
they
Fix capitalization
They
show examples
 hope the
government
Use synonyms
 can help them to look after
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 elderly. 43% of the
people
Use synonyms
 consider that
Use synonyms
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 did not put enough
resourse
Correct your spelling
resources
 on the elderly and
elderly
Correct article usage
the elderly
show examples
Use synonyms
care
Use the right word
caregiver
show examples
giver
Use synonyms
 (Joe, 2005).
they
Fix capitalization
They
show examples
 asked for more
resourse
Correct your spelling
resources
.
they
Fix capitalization
They
show examples
argure
Correct your spelling
argue
 that they have jobs, they are busy,
therefore
Linking Words
 they did not have time to take
care
Use synonyms
 of the elderly.
as
Fix capitalization
As
show examples
 they are the producer in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society, the
government
Use synonyms
 should take
care
Use synonyms
 of their elderly as a return (John, 2005).
Linking Words
on
Fix capitalization
On
show examples
 the other hand, some
people
Use synonyms
 believe that it should be family members.
they
Fix capitalization
They
show examples
 think as a family,
family
Correct article usage
the family
show examples
 has a
responsibilty
Correct your spelling
responsibility
 to look after their elderly.
in
Fix capitalization
In
show examples
 childhood,
all
Correct pronoun usage
we
show examples
 are
rised
Correct your spelling
raised
 and
borned
Correct your spelling
born
 by our parents
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
 it is
the
Correct pronoun usage
our
show examples
responsibility
Use synonyms
 to look after back.
in china
Fix capitalization
In China
show examples
,
people
Use synonyms
 consider that children have the
reponsibility
Correct your spelling
responsibility
 to look after their parents, and
people
Use synonyms
needed
Wrong verb form
need
show examples
 to respect the elderly.
looking
Fix capitalization
Looking
show examples
 after the elderly is
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
chinese
Fix capitalization
Chinese
show examples
 traditional
virtues
Fix the agreement mistake
virtue
show examples
 in
china
Fix capitalization
China
show examples
.
they
Fix capitalization
They
show examples
 believe that the
government
Use synonyms
 is just a helper of
Use synonyms
care
Use the right word
caregivers
show examples
giver
Use synonyms
,
family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
show examples
 are the
prime
Replace the word
primary caregivers,
show examples
care
Use synonyms
giver
Use synonyms
 but not the
government
Use synonyms
.
in
Fix capitalization
In
show examples
 summary,
people
Use synonyms
 have different
view
Fix the agreement mistake
views
show examples
 on who should take the
responsibility
Use synonyms
 of looking after the elderly, and they all have their
consider
Replace the word
considerations
show examples
.
in
Fix capitalization
In
show examples
 my opinion,
i
Fix capitalization
I
show examples
 believe that
family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
show examples
 are the major
Use synonyms
care
Use the right word
caregivers
show examples
giver
Use synonyms
 and the
government
Use synonyms
 is just a helper.
Linking Words
to
Fix capitalization
To
show examples
 sum up,
i
Fix capitalization
I
show examples
 think the family should take the
responsibility
Use synonyms
 to take
care
Use synonyms
 of the elderly.

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organization
Plan what you will write before you start. Use one line for the plan and then write.
grammar
Use short and clear grammar. Check spelt words and use the simplest form.
coherence
Link ideas well. Use words like and, but, because, also to show flow.
examples
Give one good example for each point and say why it matters.
task response
The essay shows both sides and shows your view.
coherence
There is an intro and a short ending.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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