IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

In many countries legal driving age is 18 years old. Some people believe it is the right age to learn how to drive a car, whereas others say that the minimum age should be 25. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In many states, the minimum required
age
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 to drive is 18
,
Punctuation problem
;
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 some people suggest that
this
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age
Use synonyms
 should be increased to 25.
Although
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 increasing the legal driving
age
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 can reduce some accidents from occurring, I agree that 18 is a suitable
age
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 to start operating motor vehicles in case of any sudden emergencies. On the one hand, increasing the
age
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 limit for handling cars can decrease the number of road incidents from occurring. At 18, a person has not yet developed proper mental maturity.
This
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 means that they are more likely to engage in reckless behaviour in order to show off.
For instance
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, in Pakistan, a majority of the serious crashes that are covered are often caused
due to
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 high-speed driving; most of these automobiles are operated by people aged 18-20.
On the other hand
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,
It
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it
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 is crucial to learn to drive early
due to
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 household emergencies.
For instance
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, if there is someone in the household who requires immediate help, it will be beneficial for someone to operate the car to transport the person to the hospital. In third-world countries, facilities like ambulances are often overburdened
due to
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 inefficient management;
hence
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, it is a
neccesarry
Correct your spelling
necessary
 skill .
Furthermore
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, if an individual learns to ride at a younger
age
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, they will have better experiences than an older person that just started learning,
as a result
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,
this
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 can indirectly reduce the number of crashes. In conclusion,
while
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 increasing the
age
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 requirement to handle automobiles can reduce accidents, I believe that keeping the threshold as it is can reduce these accidents indirectly and
also
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 be of use in case of emergencies.

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task response
Plan your essay before you write. Say both sides and then your view. Add 2 strong reasons for each side, and end with a clear line that states your own view.
coherence
Make the flow smooth. Use four parts: intro, view 1, view 2, and a short end. Use simple joining words like 'also', 'but', 'however' to link ideas.
grammar
Fix small grammar and spelling. Correct 'neccesarry' to 'necessary', 'ride' to 'drive', and keep 'drive' when you mean move a car.
lexical
Give more real examples. A true fact or clear general example helps, not only a local case.
content
The essay shows a view that is easy to see, and the end states your view.
coherence
It uses 'On the one hand' and 'On the other hand' to show two sides.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Driving age
  • Legal driving age
  • Minimum age
  • Independence
  • Personal growth
  • Responsibility
  • Transition
  • Reaction times
  • Adaptability
  • Maturity
  • Risk understanding
  • Financial stability
  • Road accidents
  • Risky behaviors
  • Young drivers
What to do next:
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