IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

The gap between the rich and the poor is widening very fast. What are the causes and effects of this widening gap? You may give solutions based on your knowledge and experience.

The hole between the high and the low classes of
people
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 has been spreading so fast in recent years. The main cause of
this
Linking Words
 problem is that
people
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 don'
t
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 imagine themselves living in a low-class family, and the result of that will be more and more miserable
people
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 who can'
t
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 find what they need around the world. Because of
this
Linking Words
 enormous hole between the high and low classes of citizens,
people
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 became very nasty and only care about themselves, and don'
t
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 give their sons to poor families , never; they would feel kind of a shame if that happened, they would rather kill their daughter to accept a poor man.
For example
Linking Words
, in the UK, there was a vlogger named Ali, who did a social experiment about the preference
if
Change preposition
of whether
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 they
like to
Verb problem
would
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 marry
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
poor
people
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 , and nearly half of them reacted angrily and were frustrated.
Due to
Linking Words
 that reason, the number of high-class communities has increased significantly over the period.
In addition
Linking Words
, the crime rate has risen gradually among the public, so there isn'
t
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 safety at all, even the number of homeless has reached
the
Correct pronoun usage
its
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top
Check wording
peak
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. To illustrate, in the USA, burglary and theft have become common among
people
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,
Punctuation problem
;
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 the statistics show that citizens who commit
such
Linking Words
 crimes do not have shelter,
moreover
Linking Words
,
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apply
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 they are mostly from poor families. In conclusion, if humans treat each other the same way, and are not selfish and start to think about each other, there won'
t
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 be a distinction between the high and low classes of
people
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, which means
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 there won'
t
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 be crimes and homelessness.

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structure
Plan your essay with a clear start, middle and end. Include a short intro, body with three parts (causes, effects, solutions) and a brief conclusion.
content
Use only fair facts and avoid wrong or cruel claims. Keep a calm tone.
coherence
Link sentences with small words like first, then, also, but, so to help flow.
grammar
Write short, plain sentences. Check grammar and stop big errors.
content
The essay tries to cover causes and effects of the gap.
tone
It ends with a call for care and less selfish acts.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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