IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Countries are becoming more and more similar because people are able to buy the same products anywhere in the world. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

In today’s increasingly interconnected world, some have argued that countries similarity is
incredibly
Rephrase
apply
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increasing as people can purchase the same goods throughout the world.
While
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 there are potential benefits to
this
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 approach, l firmly contend that the disadvantages far outweigh the advantages. Since excessive similarity leads to forgetting cultural heritage. One of the main benefits of extensive
connection
Fix the agreement mistake
connections
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 between people is the
increasing
Replace the word
increase
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of
Change preposition
in
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 cultural awareness
, when
Punctuation problem
. When
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 a country
commerce exporting
Wrong verb form
exports
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 traditional products
such
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 as local dresses, hand-made industries, and even eating products can create a unique opportunity to exchange
country’s
Correct article usage
the country’s
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 heritage and authenticity. As an example, Iranian hand-made carpets
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 one of the most renowned
merchandises
Fix the agreement mistake
merchandise
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, which designers have
utilized
Use the right word
utilised
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 precious patterns regarding Iran’s historical monuments, like Persepolis located in Fars province. It has
indicated
Verb problem
been indicated
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 that Iran has a millennia-old heritage.
Consequently
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, these communications not only enhance mutual understanding but
also
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 facilitate cultural exchange.
However
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, some challenges may arise. One concern is the disappearance of cultural diversity, which would lead to not only
vanishing
Correct article usage
the vanishing
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identity
Change preposition
of identity
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, but
also
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eroding
Correct article usage
the eroding
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heritages
Change preposition
of heritages
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 and customs. To be more precise, people’s tendency to purchase goods from abroad
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 unconsciously
yielding
Wrong verb form
yields
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 to a cycle of negligence
to
Change preposition
of
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 their traditions.
For instance
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, the young generation of Iran has desired to align with
western
Fix capitalization
Western
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 cultures, which has caused
to
Correct pronoun usage
them to
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 become disinterested
to
Change preposition
in
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 their country’s history.
Thus
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, a lack of diversity in goods would generate harmful implications
such
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 as destroying
identity
Correct article usage
the identity
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 of a nation.
To sum up
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, I believe that
although
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this
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 phenomenon shares values and beliefs among nations, it can bring
sever
Use the right word
severe
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 results like loss of cultures.
Hence
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, it is imperative to create a balance between using local and overseas products.

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task response
Make your main idea clear in the first sentence. state your view in a simple line in the intro and again in the end.
task response
Add more reasons for why the bad side is bigger. give one new idea per paragraph and back it with simple facts or examples.
coherence
Use simple linking words to show why or how things happen. for example: because, so, but, and also.
coherence
Keep the idea flow clear. use a clear topic sentence for each paragraph and keep to one idea in one sentence when you can.
grammar
Check grammar and word use. correct phrases like 'increasing of' and 'the country commerce exporting' to simpler forms like 'the rise in' or 'a country exports' and 'exporting traditional products'.
content
You show a clear view on the issue.
structure
You discuss both sides and give one real example to support your idea.
content
You end with a short conclusion that repeats your view.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • globalization
  • diversity
  • homogenization
  • cultural assimilation
  • global connection
  • local businesses
  • economic impact
  • consumerism
  • standardization
  • westernization
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