IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows what Anthropology graduates from one university did after finishing their undergraduate degree course

The chart below shows what Anthropology graduates from one university did after finishing their undergraduate degree course
The pie chart illustrates the destination of
Anthropology
Use synonyms
graduates
Use synonyms
 from one university after finishing their undergraduate degree course. The table compares the salaries of
Anthropology
Use synonyms
graduates
Use synonyms
 in four ranges after working 5 years in the
three
Use synonyms
 main employments
:
Punctuation problem
:
show examples
 freelance consultants、government sector, and private companies.
Overall
Linking Words
, more than half of the
Anthropology
Use synonyms
graduates
Use synonyms
 have full-time jobs. Around one
forth
Use the right word
fourth
show examples
 of them have
further
Linking Words
 choices
such
Linking Words
 as part-time work or postgraduate study. Only a few do not know what to do. Keep an eye on
salaries
Correct article usage
the salaries
show examples
 of
Anthropology
Use synonyms
graduates
Use synonyms
 who found jobs in
three
Use synonyms
 main types
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
 most of them can earn in the range of $75000-90000 and $100000 or more. The
Anthropology
Use synonyms
graduates
Use synonyms
 from one university will have several choices after finishing their undergraduate degree course. Half of them choose full-time
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
（52%）. Around 20%
graduates
Use synonyms
 prefer part-time jobs, and 5% of them
Linking Words
further
Verb problem
pursue further
show examples
postgrad
Correct word choice
postgraduate
show examples
 studies simultaneously. The proportion of
choosing
Check wording
students choosing
show examples
 full-time
postgrad
Correct word choice
postgraduate
show examples
study’s
Use the right word
study is
show examples
 students are as same as the
graduates
Use synonyms
 who are not known（8%）. Only 12% of
Anthropology
Use synonyms
graduates
Use synonyms
 can not find a suitable job. Those who are employed in the
three
Use synonyms
 main types after 5 years’ work
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 will generally move up to the four salary ranges. Freelance consultants see 40% each in the $75,000–99,999 and $100,000+ ranges. The government sector has 50% in $100,000+, the highest among the
three
Use synonyms
. Private companies have 35% in $50,000–74,999, with a larger
mid - range
Use the right word
mid-range
show examples
 share,
while
Linking Words
 30% reach $100,000+.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "further".
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 77%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words anthropology, graduates, three with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: