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Writing Samples
Band 7

The chart shows the sales of five different kinds of jam from 2009 to 2014

The chart shows the sales of five different kinds of jam from 2009 to 2014
The line graph illustrates the various types of jams ,
such
Linking Words
 as strawberry, raspberry, grape, cherry, plum , between 2009 and 2014.
Overall
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
plump
Replace the word
plumpness
show examples
 went down gradually, the other three types of jams experienced an increase.
However
Linking Words
, cherry jam stayed likely dominant. Starting at 3
million
Use synonyms
 in 2009, the sales of strawberries increased steadily, and by the end of the period, the
number
Use synonyms
 was at its peak.(8
million
Use synonyms
). At the beginning , Raspberry was near to 3
million
Use synonyms
 , and
this
Linking Words
number
Use synonyms
 didn't show any exact changes till 2011,
then
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
number
Use synonyms
 started to rise , and in 2014 it was approximately 6
million
Use synonyms
. The Grape sales experienced a really big increase, as it started from 0 and grew steadily, without any decrease, and in the end, the
number
Use synonyms
 was about 5
million
Use synonyms
. In 2009, Cherry sales were 2.5
million
Use synonyms
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
this
Linking Words
number
Use synonyms
 grew with some fluctuations , and in 2014, the
number
Use synonyms
 was just 3
million
Use synonyms
. The Plump only showed a decrease. In the beginning the it was nearly 3
million
Use synonyms
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
however
Linking Words
, over time,
this
Linking Words
 figure decreased, without any increase. In 2014, it was the lowest. (0
million
Use synonyms
).

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words million, number with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "show" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 4 times.
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