IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Take a look at the graphics and complete the task. The table and charts show some information about different sports in one country. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Take a look at the graphics and complete the task. The table and charts show some information about different sports in one country. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The table compares attendance( in million), with total revenue( in billions), for the 4 types of sport,
while
Linking Words
 Linking Words Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.
the
Fix capitalization
The
show examples
two
Use synonyms
 pie charts give more data about sources of revenue for the
two
Use synonyms
 selections (
Ice
Use synonyms
hockey
Use synonyms
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 and
Football
Use synonyms
). In summary, baseball is the most favourite sport by a considerable amount from others;
on the other hand
Linking Words
,
however
Linking Words
, the number of audience is not comparable to previous
, its
Check wording
years, its
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 income is 3 billion higher. Regarding the table, it can be argued that after baseball being the most attended sport with 73 billion, Basketball and
Ice
Use synonyms
hockey
Use synonyms
 have
both
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
the same audience
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 and revenue numbers. Despite being the
last
Linking Words
 in public attendance,
Football
Use synonyms
 puts the most money on the table.
Finally
Linking Words
, the aforementioned group of
two
Use synonyms
 have the same numbers here as well. To dive into detail about sources, one can indicate that
while
Linking Words
 TV is the most dominant source in
football
Use synonyms
's income with 38%, it only has 19% in
ice
Use synonyms
hockey
Use synonyms
. The rest of the proportions are shared between the three remaining sports,
while
Linking Words
 having one less than
two
Use synonyms
 around the same proportions. The minimum in
ice
Use synonyms
hockey
Use synonyms
 sponsorship is 13% and concessions with 14% in
Football
Use synonyms
.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words two, ice, hockey, football with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportions" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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