IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Zoos should be closed because they are cruel and unnatural places for animals. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

There have been some
disscusions
Correct your spelling
discussions
 about the
open
Check wording
opening
show examples
 of the zoo. Some people think it is cruel for
animals
Use synonyms
 to live in the zoo.
Howevevr
Correct your spelling
However
,
i
Fix capitalization
I
show examples
 reckon the priority should be given to the
zoos
Use synonyms
' benefit.
Adimittedly
Correct your spelling
Admittedly
,
openning
Correct your spelling
opening
zoos
Use synonyms
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 some disadvantages. First of all,
animals
Use synonyms
lived
Wrong verb form
living
show examples
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
zoos
Use synonyms
 lack of natural environment to grow up
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 will make them lose the
abilities
Fix the agreement mistake
ability
show examples
of living
Change preposition
to live
show examples
 alone and
protecting
Wrong verb form
protect
show examples
 themselves.
Besides
Linking Words
, in some
zoos
Use synonyms
, the
phenmon
Correct your spelling
phenomenon
 of bullying
animals
Use synonyms
 is always presented.
Thus
Linking Words
, the
safe
Fix the agreement mistake
safety
show examples
 of
animals
Use synonyms
 could not be ensured.
However
Linking Words
, there are many advantages
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
openning
Correct your spelling
opening
zoos
Use synonyms
. The first reason is protecting
endangerous
Correct your spelling
endangered
animals
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. For the
endangerous
Correct your spelling
endangered
animals
Use synonyms
, they don't have
a
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 appropriate land to survive. Some diffluct condition would decrease their number,
such
Linking Words
 as
panda
Correct article usage
the panda
show examples
, golden monkey and so on.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it is beneficial for
Linking Words
this kind
Fix the agreement mistake
these kinds
show examples
 of
animals
Use synonyms
 to live in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
zoos
Use synonyms
. After that, as an educational place, the
zoos
Use synonyms
 provide the opportunity of knowing
animals
Use synonyms
 for children, which will help children build the
recognization
Use the right word
recognition
show examples
 of nature and
Use synonyms
animals
Check wording
animals'
show examples
 basic living.Through
this
Linking Words
 process, it could improve kids' awareness about protecting nature and
animals
Use synonyms
 so that
Correct pronoun usage
it bring
show examples
bring
Correct subject-verb agreement
brings
show examples
 consistent developing power of protecting
animals
Use synonyms
 to
future
Correct article usage
the future
show examples
.
Although
Linking Words
 there are some disadvantages to
open
Replace the word
opening
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
zoos
Use synonyms
, in my opinion, it is still necessary to open
zoos
Use synonyms
 for protecting them and
education
Replace the word
educational
show examples
meanings
Check wording
purposes
show examples
.

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task response
State your view clearly in the introduction and keep to one side for the rest of the essay.
structure
Add a clear end that restates your view.
idea development
Develop each idea with one clear reason and one example.
coherence
Use linking words to show how ideas are connected.
language
Check spell and grammar to avoid wrong or weird words.
coherence
There are some good links like 'However' to show a contrast.
content
The text shows a few real ideas about how zoos can help animals.
content
Examples such as panda and golden monkey are named.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • cruelty
  • welfare
  • space
  • stress
  • natural
  • care
  • rescue
  • education
  • visitors
  • rules
  • laws
  • money
  • reform
  • improve
  • animals
  • life
  • protect
  • endangered
  • research
  • safety
What to do next:
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