IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The two pie charts illustrate the proportion of electricity created by energy in Scotland from different energy sources.

The two pie charts illustrate the proportion of electricity created by energy in Scotland from different energy sources.
The two pie charts illustrate the proportion of electricity created by
energy
Use synonyms
 in Scotland from different
energy
Use synonyms
 sources.
Overall
Linking Words
, coal remained the largest source of electricity,
although
Linking Words
 it showed its decrease.
In contrast
Linking Words
, Nuclear and other renewables grew in importance
while
Linking Words
 gas and Hydro natural flow showed
his
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
minor changes. Twenty years ago, coal was the
main
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
dominant
of
Check wording
source of
show examples
producing
Verb problem
apply
show examples
energy
Use synonyms
, accounting for 41%
Linking Words
however
Punctuation problem
however,
show examples
 over the years,
figure
Correct article usage
the figure
show examples
decline
Replace the word
declined
show examples
nearly to
Correct word order
to nearly
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
one-third. Gas
also
Linking Words
 experienced a slight drop from 22.3% to 21.7%.
Similarly
Linking Words
, both Hydro pumped storage and natural flow showed
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
marginal decreases.
By contrast
Linking Words
, Nuclear considerably increased from 19.6% to 26.4%,
other
Correct word choice
and other
show examples
 renewables more than
just
Rephrase
apply
show examples
doubled
rising
Punctuation problem
, rising
show examples
 from 2.8% to 5.1%. And, Oil presented
modestly
Replace the word
modest
show examples
 increases just from 2% to 4% In conclusion, even though
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 coal remained the largest
energy
Use synonyms
 producer, over the
years
Punctuation problem
years,
show examples
 coal has been reduced by 10%
while
Linking Words
 Nuclear, Oil and other renewables have become significant contributors
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
electricity
Use synonyms
energy
Check wording
generation
show examples
.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words energy with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "illustrate" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "proportion" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 2 times.
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