IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Many parents today organise extra classes for their children after school and at the weekends. Do you think this is a worthwhile thing to do or do children already receive enough education at school?

Nowadays , education plays
crucial
Correct article usage
a crucial
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 role
for
Change preposition
in
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media-driven
Correct article usage
a media-driven
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 world. Whether
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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parents
Use synonyms
trying
Verb problem
are trying
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 to educate their
children
Use synonyms
 every period on weekend days and free time after
school
Use synonyms
 for having high goals in the future . Personally, I tend to think that
Correct article usage
the desicion
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desicion
Correct your spelling
decision
 of
parents
Use synonyms
 is worthy. Childcare
is
Verb problem
apply
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arguably
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
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 easier access to
overworking
Verb problem
obtaining
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 on getting amount of information. Extra classes after
school
Use synonyms
gives
Correct subject-verb agreement
give
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more
Fix the agreement mistake
apply
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negligible benefits about study and
guid
Correct your spelling
guidance
 for future
occupation
Fix the agreement mistake
occupations
show examples
 for adolescents . For
this
Linking Words
purpose
Add a comma
purpose,
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parents
Use synonyms
 organise extra classes for their
children
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
 , by survey conducted results of
well-known
Correct article usage
a well-known
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 employee says that youth
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 flexible for learning new things . They acquire knowledge that goes
by
Rephrase
apply
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beyond
the
Correct article usage
apply
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life experience .
In addition
Linking Words
 , after classes
provides
Correct subject-verb agreement
provide
show examples
 belief about communication skills to be developed in surrounding areas
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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this
Linking Words
 is worthwhile.
On the other hand
Linking Words
 , others feel that
school
Use synonyms
 programs
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 enough , because the place is scientifically built for educating teenagers until they
will get
Verb problem
are
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 eighteen years old. In some
respect
Fix the agreement mistake
respects
show examples
,
this
Linking Words
 limited approach
represents
Verb problem
prevents
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children
Use synonyms
 from being taught in
Correct article usage
a restriction
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restriction
Replace the word
restricted
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 of
Punctuation problem
, being
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being
Verb problem
resulting
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imbalanced
Use the right word
imbalance
show examples
.
For instance
Linking Words
 , governmental education fields give students a lot of
subject
Fix the agreement mistake
subjects
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 and
home
Use the right word
homework
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 tasks , the reason
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
this
Linking Words
 is to
know that
Verb problem
help
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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children
Use synonyms
get
Verb problem
gain
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sense
Correct article usage
a sense
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 of understanding the topic . If
this
Linking Words
 approach
contrast
Check wording
apply
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works ,
parents
Use synonyms
 feel therapeutic about their kid . In conclusion ,
children
Use synonyms
 do not have to balance and
overreach
Verb problem
overwork
show examples
 their extra hours
about
Change preposition
on
show examples
 knowledge . Young moments have to be happier with family members . Except
being
Change preposition
for being
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 burned out of learning
school
Use synonyms
 learning methods.

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task response
Your view is clear, and you try to talk about both sides. Try to add a full plan and keep it easy to read.
coherence
Work on a clear plan for each paragraph. Use one main idea in each paragraph and a simple sentence at the start of it.
grammar
Use easy words and check mistakes in spelling and grammar. Keep sentences short and to the point.
lexical
Give a simple, real example that fits your idea. Do not use long or odd phrases.
structure
Finish with a short line that restates your view.
content
The writer states a clear view.
structure
There is an attempt to link ideas between points.
coherence
The essay tries to discuss both sides of the issue.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • reinforce learning
  • personalized attention
  • student-to-teacher ratios
  • comprehensive coverage
  • academic and non-academic subjects
  • well-rounded development
  • address specific weaknesses
  • grade improvement
  • performance in exams
  • leisure time
  • burnout
  • educational opportunities
  • socio-economic disparity
  • over-scheduling
  • balanced approach
  • after-school programs
  • weekend tutoring
  • additional practice
  • constructive criticism
  • holistic growth
What to do next:
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