Many parents today organise extra classes for their children after school and at the weekends. Do you think this is a worthwhile thing to do, or do children already receive enough education at school?

The
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A
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major
amount
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number
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of parents nowadays arrange additional lessons for their kids after school , weekends included. Some people believe that
this
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is useful for
children
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’s development,
while
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others think that school education is already enough. In my opinion, extra
classes
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can be helpful in some cases, but they are not always necessary. Extra lessons can support
students
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who are struggling at school. Not all
children
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learn at the same speed, and sometimes they need more practice with difficult subjects like mathematics or languages. Additional
classes
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can
also
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prepare
students
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for exams and help them get better grades, which might improve their future opportunities.
For example
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, many
students
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take extra English courses to pass international exams
such
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as IELTS.
On the other hand
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, schools already provide many hours of education every day, and too many extra lessons may cause stress and anxiety, which
lead
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can lead
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to mental breakdowns.
Children
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also
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need sufficient time to relax, play, and spend
with
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time with
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their families. If they study all the time, they may lose motivation and creativity.
Furthermore
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, extra
classes
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can be expensive, and not all families can afford them.
This
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might create inequality between
students
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. In conclusion,
while
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extra
classes
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can be beneficial for some
children
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, especially those who need extra support or want to prepare for exams, I believe that schools already give enough education for most
students
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. It is important to keep a balance between study and free time, so that
children
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can enjoy their childhood
as well as
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learn effectively.

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task response
Make your view strong in the first line and then add reasons. Try to give one clear main idea per paragraph.
coherence
Use the same idea in many small steps. Start each paragraph with a short line to show its goal.
strength
The writer states a clear view and keeps it through the essay.
strength
The essay uses a good link to show contrast (On the other hand) and a clear end.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
Topic Vocabulary:
  • reinforce learning
  • personalized attention
  • student-to-teacher ratios
  • comprehensive coverage
  • academic and non-academic subjects
  • well-rounded development
  • address specific weaknesses
  • grade improvement
  • performance in exams
  • leisure time
  • burnout
  • educational opportunities
  • socio-economic disparity
  • over-scheduling
  • balanced approach
  • after-school programs
  • weekend tutoring
  • additional practice
  • constructive criticism
  • holistic growth
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